Americanator

Happy July 4th! photo
AMERICA
It's AMERICA day today, and you know what's pretty cool and American? The United States Navy! And you know what cool American thing is grossly underrepresented in Kantai Collection, everyone's favorite strategy game &nbs...

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Yakuza: Dead Souls is the most American game ever


Mar 12
// Josh Tolentino
But only if you true patriots order the game at Gamestop!  If you do fork over some pre-order cash at your local American videogame mega-chain, you'll get the "Densetsu Pack" DLC ("Densetsu" means "Legend" in Americanese...
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Wah! Bacon-wrapped hotdog!


Jul 17
// Josh Tolentino
It seems Miku is really into sausage. More below.
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U.S. military goes kawaii with a new manga - wait, what?


Aug 04
// Bob Muir
I think the people trying to reach today's youth have finally gone off the deep end. In an effort to be hip, the United States military is putting out a manga called Our Alliance - A Lasting Partnership. The manga will teach ...

Happy Fourth of July from Americanator

Jul 04 // Mike LeChevallier
Dearest beloved sister Japanator,Nigh three long, agonizing months have passed since we last spoke. This saddens me deeply. The comfort of your round-eye Japanese voices and constant bickering over shows with titles that I cannot even begin to comprehend or pronounce correctly has been on my mind for some time now. The last few months have been troublesome for us. There is, of course, the oil spill dragging our dispositions downward. Al Gore is apparently having sex with women now. No one knows what the f*ck the economy is up to. One day we're okay, the next we're in shambles. To top it all off, the entertainment industry here in the States has been horrible. The staff recently was "treated" to a screening of Tom Cruise's latest outing Knight and Day. Half of us vomited during the second act, and the other half threw their 44 oz fountain drinks at the projection box to disable the equipment. Tomorrow evening we're going to M. Night Shyamalan's new film The Last Airbender. We have no idea what it is about, but loving everything he's done, we have high hopes.  Generally, though, media works here have been so repulsive lately that, I must confess, we have been dabbling in this strange medium you people label "anime". The majority of the shows simply baffled us within a few minutes of viewing. One of the shows was about, we think, a headless woman's quest to "get her groove back". Her fashion sense was spot-on, though. The name of the show rapes my tongue as I attempt to say it, so I won't bother with it here. Another program called Kay On, I gather, caused several staffers to spontaneously ejaculate. We are still conducting research to discover the cause of this phenomenon. There was one "anime", however, that we do approve of. So, Stan Lee makes this stuff? Why did we not know such a thing was occurring? Heroman, although it portrays America in a false light, and the main protagonist is a feeble teenage girl, at least displays the American flag proud and mighty. We, yet again, conquer invading alien scum with the strength of the can-do U.S.A. spirit. Please continue to cover this show. Well, I guess I've been babbling on for too long now. Take care, dear sister. Try to respond to this e-mail with something other than pictures of your prized naked animated characters violating each other with tentacles or whatever the hell it was you sent us last time. Don't go crazy with the fireworks, either. Happy Fourth, and God Bless America.Yours Truly,The Americanator Staff
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Well, we should have seen this coming. Americanator, Japanator's conjoined twin, separated at birth only to rear its ugly head upon April Fools' Day, has sent out an e-mail to the Jtor staff wishing us a Happy Fourth of July. They've also shared some of what they've been doing since the day they hijacked our domain. Read on to see what they've been up to.

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Why X-Men should be over


Apr 01
// Karen Mead
Hit the jump, disgruntled American comic fans, because I may never get this chance again.
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X-Men to cross-over with Twilight franchise


Apr 01
// Karen Mead
It is a rule, universally acknowledged, that every franchise with an ounce of supernatural activity MUST cross-over with the X-Men at some point. While Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga may incite crazy squealing fans to disrup...

Incarnate, the greatest American comic ever

Apr 01 // Ben Huber
Be a true American and buy Incarnate! It's currently on hiatus due to some no-name Japanese artist claiming Nick Simmons stole his art. But don't worry! Truth will prevail and Nick will be back drawing in no time! God bless!
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Greetings, fellow Americans. Even if you don't live in America, I'm sure you're pretty envious of us, right? I bet you're especially envious of our phenomenal selection of true American comics. Not those sissy, pretty-boy, wi...

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America's hottest men: a gallery of muscles and more


Apr 01
// Colette Bennett
This whole thing about liking pale, semi-anorexic Japanese dudes who have hair like my grandmother has been a total waste of my time. Thankfully, I've come to my senses. After recording the podcast a few nights back, the fog ...
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Americanator recommends: GQ


Apr 01
// Brad Rice
A little more than a year ago, fellow Americanator writer Yankee Blue Jeans turned me on to the magazine Esquire. He loved the great articles on food, fashion and foxy femmes. So, after coming home from one convention or anot...
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Dramaddict: Glee


Apr 01
// Red Veron
Hello there, America. I know you love your television and I know you don't have time to read, you came on here to find out about something to watch on your TV and that is what you'll get here on my new feature: DRAMADDICT!Y...
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Americanator Travel Guide: New York City


Apr 01
// Josh Tolentino
Oh my, how did I get here?! What is this "inter-net"? The young buck who stepped out of his Time-Machine told me it is "a series of tubes", but I still don't understand why I should be writing a travel gui...
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Hot Chick of the Week: The ladies of Brooks Brothers


Apr 01
// Brad Rice
We here at Americanator love women. Good strong, healthy and beautiful American women. So what better way to celebrate them than to highlight some of the most attractive and powerful women in the world.Taken straight from the...
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Americanator AM: USA FTW!


Apr 01
// Ace0fClub5
Fellow Americans, We here at Americanator share your passion for everything U, S, and A. So that's why we've made this special 30 minute podcast hosted by yours truly, Jake Beck.In this very special and very pro-America podca...
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Weekly Geek Debate: Batman vs. Superman


Apr 01
// Brad Rice
Time to settle it, America. The one battle for supremacy that is never settled: The Dark Knight vs. The Man of Steel.On one side, we have the Last Son of Krypton: the man who was sent from his dying homeworld as a baby to Ear...
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James Van Der Beek ordered to pay ex $7,750 a month


Apr 01
// Tim Sheehy
[Editor's note: In case you haven't figured it out yet, this was an April Fools post, and I had been impersonating Ron Burgandy. Nothing to see here, move along.]James Van Der... Van DERRR, am I saying that right? Van De...
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Americanator recommends: Jersey Shore


Apr 01
// Brad Rice
As a resident of the great Garden State, I frequent a place known to many as "The Jersey Shore." You might even consider where I live to be a part of that section. For many years, the New Jersey shoreline has been m...
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Vexing Videos: Glenn Beck Edition


Apr 01
// Jon Snyder
America, our nation is in crisis. Every day we lose more and more of our freedoms to Obama's socialist regime. Indeed, our very way of life is under attack by Nazis, Communists, and their evil Progressive spawn. In this dark ...
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Congress Bans Everything


Apr 01
// Karen Mead
On Thursday, April 1st, the "Protect Everyone from Everything Bill" was signed into law. While this law will effect the legality of all forms of media and entertainment- such as movies, television, radio, theater, m...
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Americanator Idol: Sarah Palin


Apr 01
// Zac Bentz
Sarah Palin is a big fucking deal!
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Americanator Gallery: Eagles and Wolves


Apr 01
// Dale North
Eagles are a sign of America. Wolves are...also a sign of America. Proud, majestic animals we can be...proud of. They kill other animals. They have claws and teeth and swoop in quickly to take down the helpless. They screech ...
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Confessions 19: President Barack Obama


Apr 01
// Karen Mead
Here at Americanator: The Yankee's Companion, we hate President Barack Obama for being a Muslim socialist alien nazi...or at least, we're supposed to. I have to admit, once I found out that he bowls about as well as I do, I s...
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Gainax announces "A Certain Patriotic Reagan"


Apr 01
// Tokyogetter
[This is a promoted Americanator Community Blog, written by one of our readers. If you would like to see your own Cblog on the front page, warm up your keyboard and write something patriotic! ~Reverend J.D. Thompson...
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Americanator's Hot music video feature of the week


Apr 01
// Dale North
This week, as always, we have the hottest in American music, performed by your favorite groups. The selection for this week is unbelievably good. One listen and you'll understand why it's an American chart topper. It's a grea...
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America: The Gallery!


Apr 01
// Jon Snyder
Do you know what the greatest country on Earth is? America, of course! Because all of us here at Americanator love our wonderful nation, we've put together a full day's worth of posts paying tribute to the awesomeness of Amer...
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Americanator Recommends: Steak, dry aged


Apr 01
// Dale North
Ahh, steak. Meat in its most simple form. Muscle cut from an animal and thrown over fire until it's just barely safely edible. How American can you get? For the full experience, we recommend Dry Aged Steak. The set storage te...

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