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A Japanator Fairy Tale: How Jtor saved Porn-mas
by John Martone, 03/25/2008
A Japanator Fairy Tale: How Jtor saved Porn-mas photo

As you may or may not know, anime conventions have a reputation of appealing to the perverted masses. When not busy taking upskirt shots of every cosplayer they find, these people go to the infamous hentai "fests." A celebration of tits, tentacles, and totally taudry things, the hentai "fest" is a staple of most every con. Con reps (and karaoke badasses) Michael and Marc were plugging their "fest" like no ones business. Cutting the story in lieu of more hot, moaning seyiuu, they streamlined only the dirtiest, hardcore hentai. Imagine our surprise when last minute neccessity mandated Japanator take over the hentai "fest," lest it not happen at all.

Our story begins early in the con's life, where our group decided that Jtor needed a second, "after dark" panel. After printing off fliers and loosely coming up with a schedule, we were set. Dale would knock out some of the audio-visual on his kickin' laptop, Gia and I would fight to the death, and then all of us would engage in live-action Bible Black. Of course, Tim would videotape said hotness. We even had clips ready from the world's greatest hentai... Rapeman.

The plan fell apart as the Concerts were delayed (big surprise.) Instead of starting two hours after the concert begun, we were actually beginning before them. This meant that Dale and Tim were off the map, and 95% of the con's current inhabitants were in a line which could only be described as a meat mile. Since the staff was so busy trying to get that on the level, we even found our panel room locked, and sans projector. Things could not look more grim. On top of that, Gia magically lost her con badge, and was busy being escorted around the con looking for it. So there I sat, in our panel, alone, with a laptop I couldn't make work properly, and no panel goers.

Since I had nothing better to do but wait for the deus ex machina, I whipped out Dale's laptop and started watching Rapeman. This visual image is hot, because Gia and I coordinated our cosplay. She did a French maid outfit, and I did my bathrobe+cat ears+slippers+planted kisses outfit. Two or three people came in and started asking if this was the Jtor "after dark" panel, to which I explained the entire sad story. The original H-fest was supposed to begin in the same room, exactly an hour after mine, and I didn't have the heart to disappoint them, so I just asked if they wanted to watch Rapeman with me. After hooking it up to the projector we got down to business.

By now, two or three people had wandered into the room as well, attracted by our moaning and groaning. The doors of the panel room swung open and shut. Open when there was no nudity on screen, and shut when RapeMan was saving the world from a lack female digression. Slowly, but surely, our numbers grew. Sadly, Dale's professional values meant that he had absolutely no other pornographic material on his business computer. Thus, Gia sent me up after her laptop, which didn't have the same moral restrictions placed on it. Imagine my surprise when we found out our hotel room had locked us out. RapeMan was slowly (then faster, than slowly again) coming to a close, and we lacked any other hentai. By the time I made it back, Dale and Tim had hit the scene, and were streaming Anal Sanctuary off of some Web site. It wasn't great quality (the show or the stream,) but it'd hold the masses at bay. Dale made a break for the front desk, and returned with Gia's porn box. Yet, the only thing palatable to human consumption was the delicious Hotel Boin(g?)

At this point we petitioned our audience, and a sexy Bridget cosplayer went out to his car to get the copy of Sex Ward he and his girlfriend had got. The improvisational feel of the entire affair made it so much fun... plus the parts where we started shouting things at the screen. I wanna do it again!



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