[I'll let this serve as Master Asia's theme song, now that he has returned to us here at Japanator]
Finally, I have returned from my time in solitude and training. I have returned a stronger, faster and smarter man because of it. I am prepared to take on all comers, even that Schwarz Bruder! None of you can stand in my way!
Before we begin this week's round of questions, I must send my heartfelt thanks out to Commander Bright Noa and Kamina for dutifully filling in for for me while I was away. Clearly they had a tough time and sacrificed much in order to answer your questions. I hope you remembered them this past Memorial Day.
Now, onto your questions. Come, Fuunsaiki! Be my legs!
Hey, Master Asia!
Can an entire alien species really be defeated through the power of music?
--Lynn Minmay
If by music, you mean blasting a race with hypersonic waves that shatter their ear drums and make them go insane, then yes. How else do you think we defeated the Neo-Congo colony after the third Gundam Fights?
Dear Masssster Assssssia, we has a riddle for you...
This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.
What is it?
--Gollum
The answer is simple: MY FISTS! They can slay any mobile suit, summon burning flames, and communicate emotions. Is there anything else you could deem more powerful? Here, take a look:
P.S. Have you seen my prrrecious?
I long ago crushed it into a thousand pieces and ingested it into my body. The essence of your "precious" is flowing through my blood, giving me unlimited power! Bwahahahaha!
Yo, Mastuh Asia! (sound of hair rustling)
I hear tell there's a real bastard among the first years in class 1-3. I'm tellin' ya, as long as he's here, every day is gonna be like some kinda badass olympics. What are you gonna do about it, Mastuh Asia? (rustle rustle)
By the way, I, uh, don't know his name. But you'll know him when you see him. (rustle)
- Shinjirou Hayashida (rustle)
Do you think he actually has a chance against me, Master Asia? Don't you know that I'm the gym teacher? Obviously I have to be a true badass in order to teach the most badass of classes!
Master Asia,
Do you eat your chocolate cornets from the fat end or the skinny end?
--Konata
It depends on my mood. If I have an indescribable craving for chocolate and must eat it now, then I'll go for the fat end, even though it is guaranteed to cause a bit of a mess -- the trouble of having a moustache. When I've got a bit more time to eat, though, I'll tackle the food from the bottom end, in order to savor the rich mix of dough and chocolate center.
Which, by the way, I posit that the fat end is considered the "top," seeing as if you turned it upside down, the chocolate is liable to fall out of the cornet altogether.
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Will allegations of fraud surrounding the election of Umaru Yar'adua in Nigeria, how do you think global petroleum markets are going to react, particularly considering their understandable wariness given the crumbling infrastructure and continuing civil strife in the Niger Delta?
--Julianna McKannis