Master Asia,

The man of my dreams just doesn't seem to notice me. We spend all of our time together, traveling the world, going on adventures, and yet he doesn't seem to think of me as anything special. I even repair his Gundam, tend to his wounds, and give my advice whenever possible, and he just treats me as a nuisance instead of showing me some sign that he cares. I know he does, but how do I get him to realize his feelings?

-Sad in Shinjuku

Clearly, you're not communicating with your man properly. He is a Gundam fighter, you say? Warriors communicate their souls and their true feelings through their fists! You wonder why he's enchanted with that fighter from Neo-Sweden? It's because the two of them can share so much more than you can ever hope to, all because of their prowess in the field!

There is nothing you can do but show him that you too can fight. If you are not a strong woman, then he has no reason to care for you! So go, find a Gundam of your own and fight, fight, fight! Even if you get damaged, your man will surely recognize your burning passion and will rescue you.

Only then will the two of you be able to realize the true potential of your love, and perform the Love Love Sekiha Tenkyoken.

Master!

We're surrounded! Let's bring out our Gundams and take care of these foot soldiers.

-Your greatest fan

Wait! Keep Gundam activity to a minimum. Leave this to me.

Undefeated of the East,

My husband is coming home from a work trip in Roanapur, and whenever he gets back, he always seems distant and depressed. I want to make him something that will really win his heart over, and maybe even get him in the mood for something else. But! I'm not a good cook. What can I do?

-Crisis in Canada

Clearly, something is afoot in Roanapur. I believe that your husband does not wish to leave the Hotel Moscow he stays at because they are providing something for him there that you can't. Clearly, you are too weak! Are you just going to stand there as the wild temptations of the Phillipines steals your husband and your funds away from you? Are you?

Of course you're not. The first rule of combat is to obtain the high ground! And so, you must win over your man's mind and heart by going through the stomach. I will show you one of the secret techniques of the School of the Undefeated of the East!

First, you must stir 1/2 cup of beef broth, 3 tablespoons bourbon, 1 tablespoon of packed dark brown sugar, and 1/4 teaspoon of white wine vinegar in a small bowl until the sugar dissolves. Then, sprinkle two 3/4 inch pork chops with salt, pepper, and allspice. Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in a medium nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Then, Add the pork and sauté until just cooked through -- about 4 minutes per side (the butter will brown). Transfer pork to platter.

Add bourbon mixture to skillet and bring to boil. Add 4 ounces of sugar snap peas and cook until crisp-tender, about 2 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, scatter peas over the pork, and remove skillet from over heat. Add remaining 3 tablespoons bourbon to the sauce in the skillet. Boil over high heat until sauce is reduced to thin glaze and coats spoon lightly, about 3 minutes. Mix in 1/4 cup of freshly chopped mint, and spoon the glaze over the pork and serve.

Only then will you have your man's heart, and you can then proceed to challenge those who are threatening your way of life in the far reaches of Asia!

Master Asia,

As the former King of Hearts, you have had plenty of experience in dealing with major conflicts, both nationally and internationally. How would you suggest that the Iranian people deal with all the turmoil going on in their election?

-Concerned Citizen

There is only one way to deal with this: Ahmadinejad and Mousavi need to have a Gundam fight match! Let their fists and the burning passion of their souls determine who shall be the true representative for Neo-Iran!