Listen up you worthless readers! Master Asia has ceded this week's column to me in order to bring tsundere day to it's fullest. Really, there's no way any of the other girls people are talking about today could ever compare to me. They're just hopeless.
So I've gone ahead and graced some of your questions with my answers, and I'll be around to answer some of your questions down in the comments...if I decide to grace you with my presence.
Ryuuji! Make everyone check out the rest of the article!
Taiga,
Will allegations of fraud surrounding the election of Umaru Yar'adua in Nigeria, how do you think global petroleum markets are going to react, particularly considering their understandable wariness given the crumbling infrastructure and continuing civil strife in the Niger Delta?
--Julianna McKannis
Who cares about this sort of stuff? Isn't it just easier to go ahead and take over that area and cut out the middle-man of unstable African leaders? It's annoying that at this point in the world, countries aren't really taking over each other anymore. It'd make a great day if Japan could establish a foothold in Africa.
By the way, I'm holding a rally down at the train station this weekend to abolish Article 9 from the Japanese constitution. I-it's not like I want you to be there or anything, it's just that we need as many people as we can, and yeah, I guess it would mean a lot to me if you were there. So please, won't you come?
Dear Taiga.
How do you make a flamethrower out of rope, a piece of chewing gum and a half-used container of cool whip?
-Mac***ver
Easy. Either threaten that baka 'chi with those lewd photos of her in your collection to do it for you, or just give your Ryuuji a kick until he does it. What? You don't have one. Well, I guess that's why you'll never match up to my level. Fu fu fu fu fu.
Taiga!
How dare you steal Brad from me! What sort of evil seduction would you dare use to steal the man who confessed his love to me? And don't you dare say that he did it of his own free will. I know him! He would never do anything like that!
-Kagami
Oh? A jealous lover. I guess you just haven't been able to keep him satisfied. Don't you see? His feelings for you were just on the surface. He complimented your looks, made some allusions towards the future, and asked you out. Meanwhile, he got on his knees and begged for my love. Don't you see? We're just leagues apart.
Wh-what? How can you say that? I've been faithful to him and done everything I can. Even those uncouth things he's asked me to do when we're alone...
Huh? What do you mean?
*whisper whisper*
W-what? I-I-I-I c-c-could never do anything like that! How could you let a dirty dog like that disgrace and disrespect you like that? In fact, how could I have even been fooled by his sweet words. Where is he?
You know, he wasn't even using sweet words. You were rickrolled. Now that I've shown you can never compare to me, I'm going to take my man back. Don't think you can tread on my turf and get away with it. Also, moe moe kyun, bitch.
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