Today, I am doing a public service announcement for those of you who haven’t watched the new anime series Golgo 13 this season, or for those of you who “don’t understand it.” I have a confession for all of you Japanatorians, it is hard for me to say this so I will no longer beat around the bush. I love Golgo 13. There, it’s out. I put it on the table and walked away.
My love for Golgo 13 is deeper than the love I might have for Rock Lee, or Piccolo. My love for Golgo 13 is primitive, as a man wanting to be that kind of guy. The kind of guy that shoots first and has sex second, then shoots some more and gets laid some more; so on and so forth. I guess you can call this a review for the show, but I think it would be better if you consider it a love letter.
Ok, let’s start with the basics. Golgo 13 is an assassin who does jobs for people who can afford him. He’s not soulless though, and won’t go slaughtering a bunch of orphans for a few bucks; no he’s a professional. To the untrained eye, some would say that Golgo 13 is Japan’s version of James Bond; but in reality James Bond has nothing on him.
For one the name Golgo 13 is derived from Golgotha, the place where Jesus Christ was crucified. According to our historians here at Japanator, this means that Golgo 13 has the power to kill a god; James Bond can’t do that.
Golgo 13 is so ridiculously ridiculous that it makes me even blush. Here is a guy who never changes his facial expression no matter what goes down around him. He shoots a baddie in the head, same expression; he nails a girl in the head, same expression. He delivers no cheesy one-liners after a kill, like, "Mercy? I'm afraid that my condition has left me COLD to your pleas of mercy."
When the police find him with the murder weapon, he doesn’t care. When the bad guys pull their weapons on him, he doesn’t care. It’s as if he knows he is in a manga and can not die, so why must he be afraid? He’s just that good!
Like Bond, Golgo 13 does like to saver the sweet, sweet flesh of a woman once in a while. Though unlike Bond, the women come to him without any kind of smooth talk, or well, any kind of talking whatsoever. They just lie in bed and wait for his arrival. And after that he just walks away, sometimes naked, and always holding his gun for the next kill.
Golgo 13 is the pinnacle of manliness, well just under Kamina, but only by a hair. So if GAR perfection is your thing, give Golgo 13 a shot. It might not have the best animation, or the prettiest graphics, but it is the only show this season to show full frontal nudity!
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17 comments
Golgo 13 is the fucking definition of MAN. If you look in ancient Egyptian texts, the hieroglyph for FUCKING MAN, is written with his face.
I feel more manly after every episode, and inferior knowing that I will never be as manly as Golgo Motherfucking 13...