Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around


monsterevo blog header photo

monsterevo's blog

  Make changes   Set it live in the post manager. Need help? There are FAQs at the bottom of the editor.
monsterevo avatar 6:45 PM on 11.02.2012  (server time)
11 RPS

*This blog entry may be too extreme for you rainbow/unicorn loving, happy-happy-joy-joy people.*

Crazy title right? Well, yeah it is. See that R stands for Rapes. Now I don't want to offend anyone, but you better be prepared for the most in your face, skin melting, eye popping, blood curling, genital destroying, wife impregnating, Tokyo Tower molesting, Hellfire of a show. So, with that, I welcome you to Detroit Metal City. D-M-C!

Go mug someone if you don't have the money to buy it!

This show earns my irredeemable respect. I have never seen a show portray the metal scene in such a lewd, fantastic with way with such lack of taste that its entertaining. Now many of you (pansies) will be put off by the language. Well, in my opinion, the show just lives off the use of language. That and graphic BDSM, male dry humping, public molestation and sexual abuse to the nth degree.

So heres the main character. It's this kid:

The thing is, he happens to be the same dude as this guy:

11 Rapes per Second? Impossibru!

So, when the lead character Souichi Negishi transforms into Johannes Krauser II, the Emperor from Hell, who has raped everything and anything, and commands every being and creature on Earth and just happens to know a bit about Japanese history, things get crazy. The Shibuya-kei fanboy, Souichi Negishi, is a pushover which is why he lets his abusive, sex fiend of a manager bully him around. But that's okay, because that means D.M.C's fans gets to see their heroes on stage set fire to things, rape policewomen and the bassist of an all-female punk band, as they sing, or growl and yell, songs about murdering his parents, and eating their remains, necrophilia (remember, all you need is the lower body), and murdering everyone you see. Quite a heel face turn for a guy who sings songs of cushy, dreamy love, wears Beams clothing, and plays an acoustic guitar.

The show's focus is the band of course, as they progress inside the indie music scene of Tokyo, challenging a punk band to a spitting contest, defiling a prominent rapper on stage, and getting into an All-American Fuck-off (not as dirty as it sounds, believe me) with the Emperor of Death Metal. Really, there is nothing mundane about the show. The band has a dirty, although amusing, manager/president. She's as horny as a rhino in heat and gets wet from any sort of malicious Metal act Souichi puts on, or whatever song they come out with. To contrast, Soichi has Yuri Aikawa. A Kahimi Karie-loving, style magazine journalist who hates D.M.C. like a Stark hates a Lannister. Soichi has a thing for the girl ever since college, and they both like the same clothes, the same music and the same movies. Together they would make a very lovely couple. The only thing actually getting in the way of the relationship is Negishi's alter ego, Krauser, who has spat at her, and called her a "Dirty Pig" on one too many occasions. Also he did this:

Guys, don't ever point out a woman's pimple. And never ever do this. Trust me, I know. This stuff just ain't funny. At least from the woman's perspective.

Then there's the two other members of D.M.C. The bassist and ladies man, Jagi, and the curry eating, eroge loving, drummer with all sorts of fetishes, Camus. They're great side characters, in that we don't need to know much about them personally to enjoy their presence. That, and they rock hard.

The fans are what make this show really spectacular. I mean, the ones in the show. They are as loyal to the band as Patrick Henry was to America. And when Krauser performs any sort of devilish act, they're there to witness it, blog about it and speculate about it. They're as rabid and violent as the screaming ladies at the first Beatles concerts. Hell, any band like D.M.C. gets you riled up. The fans all join in as Krauser unleashes his Demon Jewel into the mouth of his enemies, or as he swiftly strokes (disregard innuendo in this statement) the horn of a woman to make it grow larger. (1000 Extensions of Death!)

And with any music-based series, the songs match the atmosphere of the show very well. Ever heard Jack ill Dark break out "Fuckingham Palace?" Well the chorus goes something like this: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck Fuck! Repeat. Here's the theme song: Satsugai! Satsugai-seyo!!! Repeat 4x. Or how ever long you want to, it's metal baby! Also the theme song outlines how Krauser came to be. He killed both his parents as a child, raped some women, and killed some dudes. Also, don't forget Krauser-tan! Even D.M.C. has appealed to the toddlers.

It's great seeing little kids sing "Symphony of the Bitch Pig." Here's the chorus also: The lower body is all you need! Repeat 10x.

I can't help but let my inner Krauser out and rape the next building I see, but sadly I'm in the real world. We can't do things like that. But that's the best part about D.M.C., they're fictional! Just enjoy the show, it's all for the lulz. And for those of you that take offense of the portrayal of the Death Metal scene like this, come on, have a sense of humor. When they come out with a show satirizing a middle-class immigrant teenager living in the suburbs, I would enjoy it if it's funny. And D.M.C. is funny. Don't take them seriously folks, they're not real. I'm sure most of you here don't complain much about content so it's all right, but then there are the busybody parents who would never let their kids watch shows like this. I understand that, I really do, but to me and every fan of the show, we all think the same thing: "It makes my c*nt fucking soaked!"*

*(My God, this blog isn't gonna go well, when you say c*nt. Parents don't let your kids watch this show, it makes them do bad things like rape policewomen, spit into some girl's eyes, and write in their blogs the word "C*nt." This is a direct quote by the way. I didn't say it.)

Oh, before I go, here's a treat.:

(Achievement Unlocked: Profanity Level, Over 9000!")

   Reply via cblogs

Get comment replies by email.     settings

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our comment moderators

Can't see comments? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this. Easy fix: Add   [*]   to your security software's whitelist.

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -