Only the Japanese could have come up with such a study as the one pulled out yesterday at the University of Tokyo: not only did they prove that booze makes you feel a lot worse about bad things in the mid- and long run, but they did it via means no one in the U.S. would get away with. I mean, was it strictly necessary to zap rats repeatedly, then inject some with alcohol to test which ones suffered the longest? Whatever the hell happened to advertising "Hey, college kids, want a cookie and all the [possible] beer you can drink, for free?" and then zapping them?

Whatever. The dickhead in charge of the study advises people who're up for a hard night of liquid fun to just think positive instead, because booze will actually make things - are you ready for this? - WORSE. OMG! And we thought all this time that hangovers were our body's way of rewarding us for pouring toxins into it

...Seriously, Japan, the next time you find a scientific explanation and/or justification of what we already kinda figured, put more boobies into it. :(