So yeah, there's a Samurai Vodka, but real samurai don't care, because real samurai are busy taking out dumbass ninjas screwing around in the trees. Those tree-sitting punks think real samurai need their manly armor and kickass helmets? That stuff's just bling. Check out Isao Machii cutting up a baseball. He doesn't need any armor to waste a bunch of soft-shoe nancy-boys throwing slow-ass kunai.

Ninja guy will be there sitting up in the trees, not knowing that samurai guy can hear his mouth-breathing foolishness. And when ninja guy works up the nerve to lob a throwing star, WHOOSH! Samurai guy cuts the throwing star in half, each half splitting up to hit ninja guy's buddies hiding on the roof and under the floorboards, because pussy ninjas can't work on their own. They can't work in teams either. Ninjas suck! Micheal Dudikoff sucks!

And did I mention that ninjas suck so much that they can't fit an afro under their head scarves? Pitiful.

[Via JapanProbe]