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Duke Togo is the (unchanging) face of the new Google-enabled LG cell phone

3:00 PM on 09.11.2009

Dear Duke Togo,
You, Sir, are easily one of my heroes. Impassive even in the face of extreme danger, handsome in a suit, and able to swiftly execute your foes all while making it look easier than baking a batch of sugar cookies. That's why when I saw you in the new LG CM over at Japan Probe, I immediately thought to myself, "Well, if I lived in Japan, I would buy that phone. Because Duke approves of it."
Plain and simple, it's easy to see why women drop their pants for you at the speed of light. If I can't have you seduce me personally, I suppose the next best thing is the recently released Figma in your image. Perhaps I can hold it over my face and pretend that your eternal expression is actually one of lust and desire. Perhaps in fact, this letter is getting a bit too candid.
Ready when you are,
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