10. Squee!

I love that congoers can let loose and be themselves at these events. I'm all for that. And I don't necessarily dislike high-pitched, high-volume expressions of joy either. It's just that the young female group squees seem to come at the most inopportune time. Sure enough, just about every time I'm on the phone -- squee. Talking to someone important? Squee. Trying to hear an announcement? Squee. And the worst: trying to overcome a headache from sleepless nights and a bit too much drink? Squee, squee, squee. I wish we could implement some kind of silent replacement. How about a group fist pump instead, girls?

9. Roving perverts

I guess having perverts at an anime con is inevitable. And sure, these gatherings have to rank highly in the list of the horniest events ever. Half-naked people run around all weekend, posing for picture after picture. That's part of the draw, right? Unfortunately, you get a few of the guys who happily pay the convention admission fee to get their jollies. They couldn't care less about anime or manga; they just want to look at barely clothed people. This past weekend I ran into a guy who has been at just about every event I have this year. He's everywhere! Sure, he could be saying the same thing about me, but I'm paid to cover these events. He's different. In the past, I've caught him, red-handed, shooting upskirt footage. Even worse, I've caught him tailing/stalking girls. The next time I see him doing something like this, I'm turning him in. What's sad is that there are plenty more where he came from.

8. The unclean

This one was a given. You can't have a list of con complaints and not include the stinky bastards that don't wash themselves. In the past, I've tried to explore the exact reasons why someone would pass on bathing at an anime con. Some say that it has something to do with the desire for them to have non-stop fun. I've got news, stinky people. You've just ended that non-stop fun for those around you with your smell! I sat next to a guy last week that was so filthy that he couldn't help but itch himself. His shirt was blanketed with dandruff and lint. And I cannot tell you what he was doing with his lower regions. Why do they let these people in the door?

7. People that stop suddenly

I don't care what convention center you're in, when you get a gathering of 10,000+ people together, you're going to have some kind of bottleneck somewhere. For the larger cons, 30,000+ people, some in massive costumes, all try to fit down one hallway. Even when you're constantly moving, foot traffic is horrible. But when someone stops, all of the people behind them have to stop. Most of the time, you'll look ahead, 200 people up the line, and see that two people have stopped to take picture of a cardboard robot or something. They don't think about the people behind them. Some have to piss, others have to get to a panel, some haven't eaten in 8 hours. Better staffed cons have people that are assigned to move people along, but for most, I end up having my heels stepped on one too many times.

6. Asshole security people

I understand that keeping the order at an anime con is a difficult thing to do. An unruly crowd can ruin the experience and piss off guests. But a security guard on a power trip can ruin the experience for everyone. I've had convention guards run me down like they're airport TSA officers for walking the wrong direction down a hall. I can understand when these guys are trying to keep a crazy crowd from a Japanese guest, but most of the time, their actions and attitude are unwarranted.

5. Glompers

If you look at the issue from a hornball's point of view, the tradition of glomping (a rush attack-hug) is pretty brilliant. If you, as a glompee, play your cards and cosplay right, you're going to net countless fondlings by the end of the event. I appreciate the enthusiasm for specific cosplay or series, but if you're a glomper that glomps out of a need for physical contact, you might have better luck in the midnight rave downstairs. You'll find all the fondling and heavy petting you'll ever need down there.

Glompers tend to mow down the people the in their paths. I've been that deer in the headlights too many times.

4. Stupid staffers

For most of these conventions, volunteer staffers are more than helpful. They go out of their way to assist you, and you can tell it comes from a true desire to help. That's great. But then you also have the staffer who doesn't know and doesn't care. Where's Live Events 2? "I dunno." What time does this concert start? "I dunno." Why are you even here? "I dunno."

What's worse is when you have staffers who don't even know who the guests are on sight. I've seen a staffer run off a guest or two in my day, simply because they have no idea who they are. Shouldn't staffers know this?

3. Pretentious press members

Look, you snotty f*ck. You may be hot shit in your organization, but in the overall picture, no one outside this event gives a flying flip who you are. Hell, most of the people attending this event don't know who you are. As a fellow press member, as much as I'd like to see anime grow into a nationally recognized and appreciated form of entertainment, it's not yet. Right now, anime press is really nothing in the scheme of things. No one cares about you. Not the staffers, not the attendees... well, maybe the industry attendees, but only if you write nice things. Otherwise, you're just another person in the crowd. Don't look down on cosplayers (except the Dead Aerith ones). Don't scoff at staffers and expect privelages. Relax! Enjoy!

2. Pretentious guests

These guys are worse than the pretentious press members. As much as I love anime, and as important as these guests are to anime events, in the overall view of things, they're ZZZ list celebrities. Most of these voice actors, producers, artists, and editors and others are smart enough to realize that they're just larger cogs in the anime/manga machine. Most of the guests at anime cons are awesome. They'll talk to fans all day, sign autographs, and socialize the night away. I love these people. But then again, there's always that asshole that thinks a bit too highly of himself.

At one event, one voice actor -- let's call him Ed -- Ed, was pissed off that his panel wasn't starting on time. He stormed into a room (followed by a bunch of girls) and actually yelled at a Japanese guest for still being in the room. And while we're still not naming any names, know that this very kind, soft-spoken guest was taken by surprise. He looked frightened! Ed dropped the serious verbal smackdown on this unsuspecting guest, and managed to run him and his panel attendees out quickly. Later I saw this same Ed being a total dick to staffers that were just trying to do their jobs. Yeah, he may be hot shit at cons, but I hope karma comes back and makes his mom suddenly combust or something. Sadly, Ed isn't the only guest like this.

1. Dead Aerith/Aeris cosplay

Yes, we get it! We've all played Final Fantasy VII. We know that Aerith died. But your cosplay has been done over and over. You think it's novel and clever. It's not. It's lazy, and usually terrible. And the zombie variants I've seen lately? Eww! I know that not all cosplay is supposed to be pretty, but I just can't stand to look at you. And neither can anyone else. Let the flower girl rest in peace!