Some of you might have already opened up your holiday gifts, while others are still waiting. There is a good chance that you just might not get what you wanted; and that is understandable, we all have some pretty weird standards after all. However, deep down inside us all there are things we would all love to receive, no matter what kind of otaku you are.
This is where I come in. Here is the ultimate list of the top ten best things an otaku can get this holiday season. Though maybe I should mention that some of these items are impossible to get, but hey I'm an idea man. Check out the entire list after the jump.
10. That DVD you always wanted, but never bought
Isn't it great to receive that DVD you always wanted to pick up, but for some reason you ran out of money, or made a stupid decision at that time and never got it. When you skip this opportunity once, it is gone forever, a candle in the wind per se. Just imagine the look on your face to see this holy grail of an anime DVD under the tree Christmas morning.
9. Your favorite anime series in it's entirety
Who cares about one silly DVD when you can get the entire collection instead. Even though I think DBZ is swell and all, I would be utterly floored if I got the entire series right then and there; and if it was on blu-ray, even better! You really can't go wrong with this, that's if Santa can afford it.
8. The entire collection of toys from your favorite anime series
The entire floor under the Christmas tree is covered with wrapped silhouettes and large over-sized boxes. You just received the entire collection of action figures, garage kits, and collectible statues from one particular anime series. Now if that anime series happens to be short like Cowboy Bebop, then you might have enough counter space for them all. Though if it's One Piece, then you might just have to buy a second house for all of them; but what a house it will be! However, you must be careful. If word spreads that you have a house filled with toys only, minus 500 points from your attractive stat pool.
7. Your waifu's hand in marriage
You wake up to find a simple envelope under the tree. In it is a marriage license from your waifu's creator stating that your once fake marriage is now real! He or she will now ask you for suggestions on where to take the story and how to deal with other potential love interests. You get an official waifu license that you can use as a bragging tool, and special hentai drawings made especially for you whenever you want them. The ultimate present for those 2D-complex moe lovers out there.
6. Yourself in an anime
You walk downstairs to see an entire anime studio waiting for you, and you are the star! You have been given the present of being drawn into your favorite anime. You won't be a background extra, but given a role as a character who contributes to the story. This might be a filler episode, but wouldn't it be awesome to beat the crap out of Naruto for just a little bit. Just think of the street cred.
5. Your own anime maid/butler
This time you are gently aroused to wakefulness by a beautiful maid/butler. It's as if they plucked the beauty straight from the television screen and made her into a real 3D person. This servant is ever yours forever, and will do anything the master wishes. Not only that, but this maid/butler is also a demon, with demon-like abilities. Great for protection and pirating software.
4. Personal ninja clan
Frankly, there aren't a lot of things that are better than waking up to find an entire ninja clan taking a knee, waiting for your command. Their loyalty is unmatched. They can kill, steal, and kidnap at the drop of a hat, and will do that crazy jump up in the air and instantly disappear act whenever you tell them to do something. Not only that, but each ninja has its own personality; like the cool, calculating senior, and the loud mouth Naruto clone. From systematically removing your enemies, to filling the seats in your Smash Tourney, the ninja clan does it all.
3. Super Robot, with laboratory and all
You awake to your house splitting in half, and a giant, super robot rising to greet you. Hurray! You are now the proud owner of a super robot; with rocket punches, plasma eyes, and all that jazz. Crazy scientist Dr. Lenstien built you this machine as a secret weapon against the forces of evil, and for the purposes of getting you laid. However, each and every week you will have to fight off a new monster, each more sinister from the last. The good thing about this is that even if you loose, you will get a brand new robot, upgrades and all.
2. Special portal into your favorite anime world
Like every other Christmas morning, you wake up extremely groggy and walk straight for the bathroom. Though somehow you missed it entirely and are now walking around the world of your favorite anime. Holy crap, the main character just walked by you, and didn't say anything! Before you die of a fangasm you realize that you are just a normal person in this world; but hey, that doesn't matter when you can stalk all the characters and see what they do when the camera is not on them. OMG did Saber just fart? I think she did.
1. A lap dance from C.C., Kyonko, and Yoko... at the same time!
You wake up inside a strip club, wondering how the hell you ended up in here. Low and behold C.C., Kyonko, and Yoko are motioning you to sit down on a lone chair in the middle of them. You get one day, 24 hours of lap dance heaven, the greatest gift any otaku can receive. Unless you are a woman, at that point you will get a lap dance from Lelouch, Kyon, and Kamina. This is the ultimate present for any otaku.
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