Am I too late to post? Please, consider this my "Late Registration." (Reference to Kanye West album)
[May be slightly NSFW...]
I guess I can be called that "stereotypical anime nerd" that you see around high school. You know, that kid rocking Naruto headbands, turning up the Jpop real loud, wearing a fox's tail... You get the picture. I was an otaku, and like all the other otakus, I've copped a peek at hentais once or twice a year... a month... a week... all of the days of all of the week of all of the months in a year, and then some.
What? Don't judge me.
We all have a story to tell. This is my "Hell of a Life." (A song by Kanye West by the way.) "This is our journey into the horizon." (Scott Mescudi vs. the World by Kid Cudi)
Anyone else watched the English dub? Keros had such a good actor!
It all started when I was a young kid waking up one Saturday morning. Like every kid my age, we all ran to the television set to see the Saturday morning cartoons. It was my favorite thing to do on my most favorites of days before I went outside to play with the neighborhood kids. However, one show really got into me: Card captor Sakura.
I'm sure I don't need to explain what that show's about as EVERY otaku had heard of it at one point or another, but to reduce alienating you readers, it was a magical girl anime about a child named Sakura who unleashed Clow Cards upon the city, which could cause havoc. She is recruited by Keros to get them all back, and that's where my love for anime was cemented. Sure, Dragonball Z and Pokemon were awesome, but there was something about Card captor Sakura that warmed my heart when I was a child.
However, I was a boy (and I sure as hell don't regret it either!), and as far as child taboos go, boys weren't supposed to watch girly shows such as that (it was considered a bigger offense than putting your lips on the water fountain!). Lots of people made fun of me for that except the girls who watched it themselves... So naturally, sharing something in common, we became friends. I... I forgot her name (cue Love Hina reference), but she was one of my best childhood friends. We'd watch Card captor Sakura and talk about how awesome it was, act out our favorite scenes, and even shout phrases from the show (that stuck with me. Even now I'm quoting Kanye West and Kid Cudi songs).
"My story, my glory, I had raped the game young, you could call it statutory..." (Reference to Kanye West's verse in Forever)
One night though, I guess with all that Card captor Sakura on the brain, I eventually started to dream about it. No biggie, because after all, who didn't dream of Pokemon or Power Rangers when they were little? But something happened in my dream that never happened before: She kissed me. Sakura... kissed... me. On the lips.
Now, you're probably thinking "Oh, he's yanking our chain! That didn't happen!" But it did. And it felt weird ('cause for one thing, it wasn't REAL)... My heart was racing, my head was confused... and then a thought came into my head... What if I had a "crush" on Sakura?
Fast forwarding to a more recent memory, I recall seeing, and "crushing," on lots and lots of anime woman. I would literally just stare at their faces, gasping at how beautiful they were. Check this out, I even ripped out one page of a beautiful anime nurse holding a huge needle (kind of like Injection Fairy Lily or something from Yugioh!) and kissed her on the lips (if someone has a clue who it was, comment below). Needless to say, I was pretty... weird, though I didn't think that at the time. Seriously I didn't think kissing paper was weird. Go figure.
Eventually, my mom bought a new computer for our house after not having one for years. It must've been during middle school since we had AOL as our internet provider. Anyway, back then, I never knew what porn was, so every time I was left home alone, I went on the computer to go to video game forums (which isn't much different from now actually :P). But despite my ignorance of porn, I soon learned that the internet wasn't let that go on for long.
No caption needed.
I use to hang around the NSider forums, which was Nintendo's regulated hang out spot. Sadly, it was taken down, but I'll never forget the memories I had on it. But, that's a different story for another day, so I'll continue onward to the one that changed me.
One day, some guy was posting something of interest... I don't recall what it was actually, just that it was something that everyone wanted (for example, a black colored Wii, but since this was middle school, couldn't have been that). Anyway, I was eager for this... whatever it was... myself, so naturally, and stupidly (this is before I knew what viruses and Trojans were by the way, or hell, I didn't even know what a URL was), I clicked on it, and I saw this anime woman being gangbanged right in front of me. Sure, it wasn't a video, but still, that still image just totally shattered what I knew: Kissing anime girls on paper was nothing compared to the sexual thrill I got from this. It was a REVOFEV (Revolution of Evolution, a song by Kid Cudi).
I must've stared at the image for a good, what, 5 minutes before I had to snap myself out of it. I stared for so long that it probably burned into my retinas for weeks... It was a woman with long black hair and a busty chest getting plugged in every hole. Her mouth, her second mouth... Everything. She even had her hands holding the plugs. She was covered in so much white goo from head to toe that if I was older, I'd question how those things were still hard (the magic of hentai). I was young, I didn't even what sex was or how it was done (hell, if it wasn't for porn I would've never know how to have sex since I slept through all my sex-ed classes), so I guess I spent another 5 minutes analyzing it (and would you believe that I STILL didn't know how to properly masturbate!? I spent a year masturbating the wrong way!)
Gee, like you could do it better.
It didn't stop there though. It became like an addiction afterwards. I had to see more of these images. I'm sure we all went through this stage at one point, where there was no "too much" or "too hardcore." No, I wanted more and more, "never truly satisfied (I am happy, that's just the saddest lie)." (Reference: Soundtrack 2 my Life by Kid Cudi). I started to save pictures into my "homework" files on the computer to view them at will, printing out all the good stuff. I even printed out over 50 pages, locked myself in the bathroom, and spread them all out in front of me, like my own personal harem. (Hey, I was "trapped in my mind, and I know it's crazy, but hey, it's not that bad at all") (Reference: Trapped in my Mind by Kid Cudi)
Now I have to say one more thing, and it's the thing that kills me the most. I was in high school, and I had probably one of the best friends I could've ever asked for. I mean, I even remembered her name for one thing. She was damn beautiful, damn funny, and was just damn awesome. I could even say she was the one if she thought of me as more than a friend (sigh...). But my past somewhat caught up to me: One day, my kid brother found those hentai images. At first, I didn't know that he did, so the shock of that alone would've been bad, but you know what's worst? How I heard of it:
By my best male friend... out loud... whilst standing in front of the girl I loved.
Needless to say, she was slightly, if not totally disturbed by this revelation (didn't help that he went into details...). Damn it, I didn't want anyone to know! I had put on such a good act on concealing it: I never talked about these things with others, I act nervous whenever a remotely sexual related topic came up, and I can even "hold my woody back through my drawers" (reference: Smack that by Akon featuring Eminem) when I had to (a girl even held me down on the ground once, with her hips on mine and commented that I was gay because I wasn't turned on). And now, when it was finally revealed, it was in front of the girl, who I liked...
Kanye West was less of a douche than my friend! Now that's sayin' something.
How'd I feel about my friend afterwards? To quote my favorite rapper, Kanye West: "First off... FUCK that man." (Reference: Welcome to the World by T.I. ft. Kanye West and Kid Cudi). Really, that was such a low blow. He was an asshole of a friend though, even way before this: He loved to kick me when I was down, he loved to embarrass me... And now this? What's next: He's gonna tell everyone I masturbated everyday (we don't judge, right?)... Not that he knew, mind you, but that's the only thing he could say that'd make this worst.
Anyway, that was my entertaining, yet tragic tale of my experience with ero. Sure, I was only supposed to talk about my FIRST one, but it was a story worth telling. As for me and my best, female friend, she promised to "forget" what she heard so that we wouldn't have this awkward air around us. She actually looks at that stuff as well, but even as demented a pervert I was, I still feel shy talking about it to another person face to face, so that was a nice gesture. She was a true friend... she even drew me a picture of the Pokemon Gardevoir in a sensual pose because she knew that I liked her...
Damn, how many pages have I typed in such a short time? I have been staring at the bright computer monitor in my dark room for what seems to be hours... AND I'm the type of person who looks DOWN at the keyboard, so having to readjust to the darkness and light... Ugh. Lemme just end it here, without any tears, go to my bed and curl, and get lost in my world. That means I'm gonna sleep, dream, and hopefully have another perverted dream.
Sweet dreams are made of these... Who am I to disagree?
All content is yours to recycle through our
Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution.
ModernMethod is an independently-run company on a mission to give everyday people awesome, accountable web sites written by goofs you can stalk on facebook. Our communities are obsessed with videogames, movies, anime, toys, and sometimes boobs.