Japan, can I talk to you for a minute? Come over here.

What the hell are you thinking? You may not realize it, but to a lot of people, you don't have the best image in the world. Oh, I know, you've got great businesses like Toyota and Honda and you just elected Hatoyama and all. But you know the panties in the vending machines? Yeah, people still bring that up.

And I do my best to defend you. I tell them, "Oh, those are only really in the shadier parts of Tokyo" and such. But something like this? A coin purse that looks like a first grader's bloomers? I can't defend that, especially when it's being distributed in a magazine as a gift.

I know, I know. Champion Red Ichigo is a porn magazine, and it does feature some loli content, but still. You really need a PR campaign to sweep this under the rug. Maybe if you had won the 2016 Olympic bid, then you would have been forced to take care of this already. And no, you couldn't simply call this material "bronze" or something and get away with it.

Look, it's all good and fine for you to draw whatever you want: freedom of expression and all that. But could you please stop with the paraphernalia that just makes you look bad? It would make my life a hell of a lot easier. And it might cut down on the number of herbivore men as well.