It started a few days back when I met some new colleagues at an out-of-town event. In conversation one evening, it came up that I contribute to a website/community that focuses on all things otaku. This was somehow worked into the previous conversation we had about Valentine's Day. Some very interesting comments came out of this.

One gentleman asked me if Valentine's Day "was a dead day." I asked what he meant by that, and he said that he assumed that no one that was "into that stuff" was dating or married, so there was nothing to write about.

A female at the same event chimed in: "Yeah, none of those lonely people want to talk about lovey-dovey stuff."

Of course, I stood tall for all otakudom in saying that we're not necessarily a lonely bunch, and joked that for those that do feel that way, there's always the internet and our own brand of porn.

"But you don't like that stuff, do you?" another asked.

"Animated Porn? Love Pillows?" I joked? But I knew they were talking about the stuff we all love: manga, anime, Japanese music, and the culture in general.

"Of course I do," I replied proudly. "I adore it, and there's nothing I'd rather write or talk about."

Surprised, the original topic starter said something along the lines of "but you're different" to me. I asked how I was different, and of course, he couldn't tell me.

I didn't take offense to any of this, but somehow pride swelled up, and I felt it necessary to defend my people. I cited plenty of healthy relationships I personally knew of, adding in that given the right surroundings, we're a very social, fun-loving bunch. And I added that our mates are sometimes real people, and not just "cans," dakimakura and love dolls.

Humored, the group acknowledged my defense, but the topic kind of fizzled out after that. Sadly, we moved onto a discussion about "tub girl" and other gross internet memes.

That night, as I walked back to my hotel room, I continued to think about how others view us. Do they all really think we're that lonely and friendless? And what was it about me that made them think I was "different" than anyone else? Aren't we all just people? I guess you could generalize the whole American Public as lonely, but you know that's not right. You could also say the same about geekdom in general. But there's comic book lovers married to LARPers and collectible card gamers dating MMO freaks, too. What is it about the anime and manga-loving group that these people--geek journalists themselves--seem to misunderstand? Or is it me being too optimistic about our kind?

Are we really a lonely bunch? If so, I don't see it. Dating or not, and Valentine's Day or not, I think we're just a different subset of the geekdom classification, and that there's no more lonely people among us then there is any other group.

Am I wrong on this?

__________________

Ironically, author Dale North wrote this article while eating alone in a fast food restaurant on Valentine's Day afternoon while eating a decidedly bland chicken salad.