Dragonball Evolution
Directed by James Wong
Written by Ben Ramsey
Originally released April 10, 2009

The plot is fairly simple: Piccolo is back, and Goku needs to get the seven dragonballs in order to banish him from the Earth again, lest he go about and conquer the whole world using the dragonballs. We're bombarded with this very quickly in the film, and it becomes the looming fact as we introduce the characters and set up some of the backstory.

Goku is that weird kid in high school, who keeps talking about how the world was almost destroyed by the Nameks, and how Ozaru is going to come back at the solar eclipse, all because Grandpa said so. Naturally, that's why he's an outcast and everyone refers to him as "Geeko" and picks on him. Why doesn't he just kamehameha them in the face? Because Grandpa said not to.

As kind as Gohan (Grandpa) is, you can see how he dominates Goku's life. It's probably why Goku's acting is so bad. Well, not just Goku's acting. Just about everyone in the film has a very limited acting range. Even the veteran of the group, Chow Yun Fat, had some trouble with his lines. Some of the characters were the same in anme only -- Chi Chi was nothing like the bitchy character she was in the anime, and Yamcha was a cocky womanizer (instead of having difficulty talking to girls).

And so, with a ragtag group of characters, it's time to go fight Piccolo. But before that can happen, it's necessary to shove a large amount of exposition down our throats in the most forced ways possible. Many of the plot points are telegraphed well in advance, leaving us with a piss-poor ending that was anti-climactic.

In order to cover up the poor storytelling and cheesy dialogue, we've got the film's special-effects budget, which I was amazed it. They used graphics that I hadn't seen since the early nineties! Sure, the attacks, such as the kamehameha is done adequately, but some of the CG enemies were just laughable. And for the costumes? Well, they seemed to fit much better in an episode of Power Rangers as opposed to this film.

There is really nothing redeeming about the film. I suppose it would be a good film to watch if you're planning a "Shitty Movie Night," Otherwise, take Dale's suggestion and go into this movie after consuming a decent amount of alcohol. You'll need it. Also, I have to say, I'm not in the least surprised that the film debuted at #8 this weekend, garnering only $4.6 million.