So it's a Friday night and you're looking for a good time. Me? I usually have a few drinks with friends. But occasionally I need some Viagra to get me through the shame of having to bang a hooker. Really. I just pop one of those, put a bag on her head and I'm good to go. Er...um...I mean no.

The National Police Agency in Japan has announced that even more yakuza have been arrested in an Osaka drug ring for selling fake Viagra to sad, desperate thrill seekers. Two Yamaguchi-gumi members were arrested again on charges of unauthorized pharmaceutical sales, with a third member also getting thrown in the clink.

The police found 13,000 fake Viagra tablets in a Naniwa condo, which they believe is one of the bases for the drug ring. Officials suspect that the drug profits are being redirected back to the organization itself. The three yakuza who were arrested are suspected of selling 120 pills without a license to three men for about 39,000 yen between April 27 and May 5.

So what's wrong with the fake Viagra? Does it just not work? No, actually, the problem is that it's equivalent to about two regular Viagra. You might think that having a raging hard-on that could take down small cities with one fell swoop wouldn't be that bad, except for when you watch an episode of House or E.R. and realize how exactly to rid yourself of a little condition called priapism. That, and the fake pills can cause heart attacks and death. And unless you're a real freak, I don't think either of those two side effects are really great in the bedroom--for anybody. 

I guess it's lucky for the customers of the yakuza that they made it out unscathed. Although one of them even had the audacity to complain, "It was relatively cheap and it worked. What's the crime in that?"

Really, buddy? Really? Just admit you're a sad, sad, man with erectile dysfunction and get a prescription already.

*I know, I know the header uses the wrong form of "too" but the picture was too good to pass up!