While shoveling snow the other day, it was discovered that I have about as much physical power as Chiyo-chan, so I was given my own tiny, Karen-sized snow shovel. It was then that I got the idea for Chibi Snow Shovelers, a shoujo romantic comedy manga intended for elementary school students, otaku with low standards, and pedophiles. I do not condone pedophilia, I'm just being realistic.

Rather than doing all the work to create said manga (that's crazy talk), I thought I'd just give you a glimpse into the world that might have been; hit the jump to read Chibi Snow Shovelers, or come as close to reading it as you probably ever will.

The story is about fifth-graders Hitoshi and Reikokeiko, childhood friends who go to school by day, and shovel their neighbors' driveways for cash by night. It's a grueling task, but they need the money; they're saving up for a trip to Korea, so they can see where anime is made.

When other kids in their class hear about their shoveling business, many of them want in on the action. Soon, a whole troop of kids are traveling around with Hitoshi and Reikokeiko; hijinks ensue. Everybody is really hyper, and suddenly there are a ton of cats around for some reason. One kitten, whom they name Shovel-chan, likes to hold a tiny shovel in his mouth and help Reikokeiko with her work. Shovel-chan becomes the mascot for the Chibi Snow Shovelers, or rather the "Chibi Snow Shovelers Club Brigade Society", as Hitoshi dubs it. They wear matching earmuffs.

While all of this is going on, Reikokeiko and Hitoshi grow distant; he's too busy running his new business to pay her much attention. Even hitting him on the head with her shovel doesn't accomplish anything, other than send him to the emergency room once.

Just as Reikokeiko is beginning to feel as though their trip to a Korean animation studio together is but a distant dream, some other childhood friends of hers move back to the neighborhood; Tomoki-kun, and his brother Edward James Olmos-kun. Reikokeiko and Ed-kun start spending time making snowmen together, and other things that you can make out of snow, and Reikokeiko forgets all about the joys of shoveling until her arms want to fall off.

Meanwhile, winter is almost over, and the entrepreneurial Hitoshi plans to turn the Chibi Snow Shovelers Club Brigade Society into the Chibi Lawn Mowers Club Brigade Society for spring. However, he finds he misses Reikokeiko, and the touch of her shovel of love. Furthermore, when he goes to look for her, he catches her building Snow Gundams with Edward James Olmos-kun, and and angrily pelts his wrinkly rival with snowballs. The two agree to a snowball duel, to be held at 3AM on some random guy's lawn. Will either win Reikokeiko's heart, and will either put rocks in their snowballs and be assholes that way? Will the Chibi Lawn Mowers Club Brigade Society be successful, when lawn mowers do not actually come in childrens' sizes? And will no one knit a sweater for the constantly shivering Shovel-chan?

What happens next? No idea- that's as much planning as I've done for this manga that will never exist. If you find that you like Chibi Snow Shovelers and want to draw your own version, or make an anime that doesn't exist based on the manga that doesn't exist, be my guest. Just please be kind to my little Shovel-chan.