First, let's look at the doujinshi convention. Well, not so much look as read, since they didn't allow any photographs at the event. Taking place at Intex Osaka, the doujinshi con filled half of the convention center with doujinshi, arts and crafts, and some hardcore yaoi. I mention the yaoi specifically because when I went there, tagging along with my friend's gender class, I was one of probably 20 men in a sea of several thousand women. As we went inside, groups of high school girls would giggle at us not only because we were gaijin, but also because we were male.

Like most people, I expected this doujinshi con to be almost entirely pornographic. Yet, we found plenty of novels (some were erotic), plain ol' fashioned "safe" doujinshi, and a ton of original works. The pornographic works were common, but not an extremely dominating force. Boys love, Shonen Jump, and music-based doujinshi all got their own respective sections, and were some of the biggest attractions there. I was genuinely surprised to find doujinshi (of both SFW and NSFW varieties) for Red Hot Chili Peppers, My Chemical Romance, Smashing Pumpkins, and a bunch of other rock bands. The Shonen Jump section was the main area to find straight doujinshi, however rare it was. I hate to disappoint you, Len, but the entirety sdof the One Piece aisle was yaoi.

Of course, I came across quite a few interesting finds there, like the ultra-disturbing nikuman-style Doraemon doujinshi and the ultra-graphic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles yaoi. It was bad enough that the woman tried to take it out of my friend's hands before he could read it. It was a little futile, though, since he's as tall as I am, and she was a tiny Japanese woman. Transformers and Kamen Rider were some of the other notable weird ones, but I think the one that had me the most baffled was an entire aisle dedicated to something called "Axist Powers." [As I later found out, this was a whole section of Hetalia doujinshi -- DMV]

Much like the ever-loved 'tans, Axist Powers were soldiers that personified the countries that participated in World War II. Like, for instance, I picked up one volume that was America lovingly sodomizing England -- his mouth was saying no, but his eyes said yes. Any country that was in the general area of Europe wasn't safe -- Denmark and Sweden had a romantic tryst, too. In shows like Genshiken, we see how nerve-wracking it can be when people are flipping through their work, deciding on whether or not to buy it. Now, imagine how it was for the poor girl who was at the doujinshi stand. In front of her was an American, reading porn about America raping Britain. She couldn't even look at us the whole time, and would hide her face every time she passed by. I really should have picked it up to make her feel better.

The event was certainly eye-opening, and there were quite a few interesting items. It was enjoyable, and I was glad that my first convention wasn't the size of Comiket or an equivalent, where it's just a mass of bodies. Now, onto the hunt for 2-D jugs in Den Den Town.

Osaka's salacious materials, for the most part, seem to be contained to Den Den Town. There, salacious banners are plastered with the faces of young idols and Marilyn Monroe. Within the stores are rows and rows of idol and porn videos, with TVs stuffed into the shelves, playing some sort of video. If you're looking for doujinshi, though, you pretty much have to head to Melon Books or K-Books.

Melon Books is a large retailer of doujinshi (exclusively), and has just about anything you might be looking for. Displays are set up, showing off some of the best-selling titles from Comiket, and then have stores of various series sitting in the back. Pricing for doujinshi isn't exactly cheap, so you're often better off picking up a bound volume of hentai to get more bang for your buck. Titles are sealed, like most manga here in Japan, but they at put out a reader copy, or include photocopies of some "representative pages" to help you decide on your purchase. K-Books' doujinshi sections is set up similarly, with a large section of doujinshi, and some bound hentai volumes along the side. The clerks at these stores are usually very helpful and knowledgeable, and can help you locate a title even if you can only give a halfway-decent description of the title and the series, in broken Japanese.

Most of the people shopping in these stores aren't the barely-legal 18-year-old boys who are just itchin' to get their hands on porn. Instead, most of the time, it's salarymen on their way home from work, or a few middle-aged women scouring the Gundam section for an obscure title. It fits with the theme here in Osaka of everything being geared towards the older market instead of teenagers. Similarly, if yaoi is your thing, then you can go to Liv Ret, an entirely yaoi-based store a few blocks away from Melon Books. If you're a guy, though, and you poke your head in, everyone will stop what they're doing.

Essentially, it's incredibly easy to buy pornography in Japan. There's a general assumption that you won't bother to buy it, much like cigarettes and alcohol, unless you're actually of legal age. Guilt and community vigilance play into this as well, so that high school kids don't start going down the horrible path of moral corruption that automatically happens if you pick up pornography while under legal age.

So, had fun with the gigantic text-orgy? Once you cool yourself off, check out the few snapshots of Osaka's salacious stores that I managed to grab. Some places can be so finicky. I mean, so what if I take a picture of a businessman with bizarre tentacle porn in his hands? It's not like it'll ruin his career...