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First Impression: Strike Witches

8:38 AM on 07.20.2008 // John Martone

Concept: Flying loli-furry witches who fire machine guns and transform into a girl/plane hybrid.

There, I've just ruined about all of the mystery behind Strike Witches. In a reality nothing like our own, the planet is under siege by bad CG monsters called the Neuroi. Its been that way since the 1930's, and on an unrelated note, middle aged women don't exist. You are either the main character's Mother, grandmother, or you are a 13 year old loli who doesn't believe in wearing pants. Sure, I balked when Len told me that no one in the show wears pants. I mean, pants would just get in the way of those weird... plane leg things they have, but seriously, no one in the world wears pants. Since everyone is half naked, there's no need to bother with panty shots, so Strike Witches uses all of its screen time taking itself seriously. Really, really seriously.

I've seen terrible anime before, but this reaches new heights. Sky Girls had nothing on this. Hit the jump and please explain to me why someone thought this was a good idea.        

Okay, so if we break it down, I can kinda see where they were coming from. I mean, loli's can be adorable, and everyone loves machine guns. Taking this concept one step further, each loli-tron is modeled after a different World War 2 plane... cool? Where we go off onto the deep end is that these amalgams are fueled by magic, and whenever you use magic, you grow a bushy tail and adorable hair/fur ears.

Quicks note: Only cute 13 year old gears get to be part of the elite military unit (duh.)

I mean, by this point I don't know what would make this any better/worse. At this point I've told you almost nothing about what actually happens in the show, but do you really need to know? Much like Gonzo's Tower of Druaga, Strike Witches is available with official subtitles and legally distributed through CrunchyRoll. If you've always wondered what a plane/girl/fox hybrid would look like, check it out, but make sure you lock the door... I'd really hate for someone to walk in and misconstrue what you were watching.

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John Martone,
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