"The actors are lost amidst the orgy of pixels writhing around like the special effects equivalent of a bukkake film"
This was a rotten tomato that amused me greatly. Of course we are discussing the Wachowski brothers' recent film adaptation of Speed Racer. What struck me as odd was how scathing the reviewers were to this, yet how loving they were of recently released Iron Man. Both movies are directed at either fans, or someone in search of a fun movie, yet for some reason reviewers were willing to say "For cheasy movie Iron Man is good" while Racer wasn't give the same treatment. If uninformed, Rotten Tomatoes is a highly popular website that compiles "informed" movie critics (print and otherwise,) then mathematically assigns the movie a value. Iron Man was assessed at 93% (a stunning high), while Speed Racer was a paltry 35%. To give perspective, Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay was given a 57%.
Of course I am preaching to the choir, but unless you somehow stumbled onto this website on accident, I can all but guarantee that on some small level, Speed Racer will at least amuse you. To give this perspective, I've never seen the show and hate anything involving cars. Going to a car show or watching Formula 1 racing is about as interesting to me as prying my toenails off with tooth picks.. yet I loved this movie.
After a couple rounds of Mario Kart had sated me, I decided to put up a post here to help those who may be curious about the negative buzz Speed Racer has been receiving. Honestly, I can't tell you why the movie is getting such a lackluster, negative reviews. I thought, maybe the movie makes people motion sick, but I experienced nothing to that degree. I thought, maybe they wanted a more serious, plot-driven movie... then I laughed at the idea. I won't fault people for not seeing it, maybe this type of movie just isn't for you, or maybe you just aren't in the mood for "that" movie right now, but anyone who walks into the theater to see "that" movie will probably have a great time.
Speed Racer can be summated by a three letter word: fun. There was so much fun to be had watching the highly stylized, fast speaking dialog. The movie progressed at an amazing speed, save one or two monolithic monologues... but they were spouted out at 60 wpm! As stated before, I despise any activity that uses a car for anything other than transportation from point A to point B, yet the racing in this is so unrealistically exciting. Is everyone unaware of the fact that the cars use springs/poles/magical pixies to flip at will?!?!
Not only are the cars capable of acute aeronautics, it is a basic feat of these Neo-Nascar Olympics. Racers are not drivers, they are cutthroat road pirates bent on proving that their style is the best. One team wears sequenes and actually lobs living snakes into the cockpits of other cars, its that intense. Best yet, this is themed after a children's 'esc style of character interaction. With the addition of some magical foam-thing that completely protects drivers in case of accidents, wrecking your car becomes the cool thing to do. No longer are we constrained to the feeling of tragedy that accompanies a real life auto incident, they can explode/implode to their own delight, and I can rest on my moral laurels, that no sleezeball character was harmed in the story of this movie. Yes, this is fantasy, but I want every crashed villain to be alive, that way they can throw down their helmets or twirl their mustaches in disgust as Speed Racer crosses the finish line.
That is about all the colorful descriptives I intend to impart, as my only goal is to assure the fence riding masses that this movie is indeed "watchable." Yes, the characters are stock, yes the reviews are low, yet the only thing that should matter is if you willing to see a movie for the fun of it.
Lastly, a quick comparison of how several terrible movies in theater have been rated, geared at showing you that generalized reviewing is not to be taken to heart.
- Baby Mama 60%
- Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay 57%
- Ruins 42%
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