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Oh, boy, this sure is funny! I especially loved it when you made fun of the effeminate character designs, belts and zippers, fat cosplayers, and the Red Ring of Death. Those were really clever jokes that I'm certainly not sick of hearing over and over again.
Your article was so good, in fact, that it inspire me to try my hand at a rant thinly disguised as "biting" satire! How'd I do?
Your article was so good, in fact, that it inspire me to try my hand at a rant thinly disguised as "biting" satire! How'd I do?
No, I thought you were mimicking him because of the mildly funny flamebait posted above. If you must mimic Mr. Sterling, I suggest using one of his funnier articles as a template.
@Jon
oh its on like donkey kong!
LOL nah I can't be funny as him but I do love making lists and I just put that together with a dash of sterling and came up with some SERIOUS JOURNALISMS.
oh its on like donkey kong!
LOL nah I can't be funny as him but I do love making lists and I just put that together with a dash of sterling and came up with some SERIOUS JOURNALISMS.
Haha, nicely done. Let's just hope Japanator's viewer's sense of humor is at least somewhat better than Destructoid's. I swear, every time Jim Sterling writes an article, the nerd rage of a thousand suns can be felt emanating from the site.
I dont really agree with the extremely biased statements on here and i dont really care that much. but what i can say is the xbox has a red ring and the ps3 has a little yellow light. that little light is very bad. it means you need to send your ps3 in and have it repaired (95% of the time its a mainboard problem). OH and when u get it back your hard drive? yeah its gonna be wiped completely clean. including alllll save data, id say back up ur data regularly but due to copyright crap and what have you u cant back up all games (some games are gay like that). So dont pull that red ring bs here bud! lol. anyways this game is crack. and i would like to say I do have a ps3 i am playing it right now i like it its awesome, but its not gods gift to gaming
@Link1987 & kaiden: While those are good points, they don't really apply to this article. It's pretty clear from points 2 and 5 (if it isn't clear earlier), that Edward is simply trying to bring more attention to Yakuza 3 in a humorous fashion; he's not saying FFXIII and the Xbox 360 are terrible.
No, the REAL problem with the article is that--with the exception of #2 and #5--I didn't find it funny in the least. There are plenty of ways to poke fun at FFXIII without resorting to tired jokes that have been used for every single Nomura-directed FF game.
No, the REAL problem with the article is that--with the exception of #2 and #5--I didn't find it funny in the least. There are plenty of ways to poke fun at FFXIII without resorting to tired jokes that have been used for every single Nomura-directed FF game.
OK, I'm sold. I want to be a Yakuza badass.
Do I need to play the other two to get a good grasp of whats going on?
Do I need to play the other two to get a good grasp of whats going on?
EVERYTHING IS SO CLEAR NOW! I CANNOT BELIEVE I LIVED BEFORE WITHOUT KNOWING THIS!
...*goes to play FFXIII*
...*goes to play FFXIII*
@SourGr8pes: No, you'll be fine honestly. If you do like Yakuza 3 though, I would recommend going back to play the first 2.
but...but...everyone knows that a hero/heroine needs to wear an outfit with a lot of zippers and straps!!! Its pretty much required!!
I'll be grabbing Yakuza 3 used, I think. Once they cut content from the US release, I decided I won't buy new, therefore Sega won't get my money. Plus, I'm still not done with Yakuza 2.
Aside from the Xbox bashing, I thought the article was pretty funny/good.
(but seriously, wouldn't being available for BOTH consoles be better than only being available for one? I smell Sony fanboyism...)
(but seriously, wouldn't being available for BOTH consoles be better than only being available for one? I smell Sony fanboyism...)
PS3 exclusives are always way better than games released on both systems, though. Because when a game's going to be on both systems, it ends up being made on the 360, then ported to the PS3. This usually results in problems, depending on how crappy of a job done porting the game. And games developed on the 360 don't even come close to pushing the PS3's capabilities. Oh, and there's the fact that 360 sales are practically non-existent in Japan, so it makes sense that they'd develop Yakuza 3 for the PS3, especially considering that Sega had been saying that they won't release it in the US.
I already own one and have the other on preorder. Two of my favorite series both getting new games in the same week lol.
Sorry, but I gotta warn you about this, APOCALYPS3 isn't a positive word for the PS3...Its simply the RRoD for PS3, not the fix. Love your review aside from that though.
@ShortyBoo: "Because when a game's going to be on both systems, it ends up being made on the 360, then ported to the PS3."
Except some multiplatform games are made for the PS3 and then ported to the 360. Like FFXIII.
Heero Yuy is right, multiplatform is the way to go if a company thinks a game will be successful enough to spend the time and money porting it. Final Fantasy can afford it; Yakuza, unfortunately, cannot.
Except some multiplatform games are made for the PS3 and then ported to the 360. Like FFXIII.
Heero Yuy is right, multiplatform is the way to go if a company thinks a game will be successful enough to spend the time and money porting it. Final Fantasy can afford it; Yakuza, unfortunately, cannot.
Wait, you are fat so you can make fun of fat people? But do you wear clothes full of zippers and belts?! Are you an ugly cosplayer? Were you involved with the production of Michael Bay's Transformers?! No?!
How dare you make fun of things other people do/are?! You, sir, are a hater. I'm a hater too, but I hate people who write funny articles because I hate everything that is supposed to be fun.
Videogames are serious business, y'know.
How dare you make fun of things other people do/are?! You, sir, are a hater. I'm a hater too, but I hate people who write funny articles because I hate everything that is supposed to be fun.
Videogames are serious business, y'know.
I played the Yakuza 3 demo on PSN with high hopes. I'm really into the JRPG stuff... but ... come on. What a terrible game. It's not that the characters look 'real' (in the sense that they don't look perfect, like FFXIII), they just didn't put the effort into the game. PS2 Graphics.
According to the logic of 9). FFXIII was made by the same company that made FF VII. FF VII is undoubtably one of the greatest video games out. This was on the PS1. So not only should FFXIII be 'almost 2' times better, it gets a 3x multiplier for being 3 generations behind!
I cannot say I have tried the FFXIII battle system, although from the videos it looks pretty immersive with lots of veriety and features. What do you get with Yakuza 3? Sod all moves, all do the same thing. You have to repeat the same moves a million times to defeat an enemy, as you clumsily roll through the air, and are then blocked clumsily by the enemy who has ADD, repeating the same move over and over, sliding over the floor with crappy physics effects. Within 2 minutes of the fight you have seen most of the fight animations there is.
If you like fighting, go with Tekken, if you like RPG, Yakuza 3 isn't so bad if you can choose not to fight.
According to the logic of 9). FFXIII was made by the same company that made FF VII. FF VII is undoubtably one of the greatest video games out. This was on the PS1. So not only should FFXIII be 'almost 2' times better, it gets a 3x multiplier for being 3 generations behind!
I cannot say I have tried the FFXIII battle system, although from the videos it looks pretty immersive with lots of veriety and features. What do you get with Yakuza 3? Sod all moves, all do the same thing. You have to repeat the same moves a million times to defeat an enemy, as you clumsily roll through the air, and are then blocked clumsily by the enemy who has ADD, repeating the same move over and over, sliding over the floor with crappy physics effects. Within 2 minutes of the fight you have seen most of the fight animations there is.
If you like fighting, go with Tekken, if you like RPG, Yakuza 3 isn't so bad if you can choose not to fight.
For everyone complaining about the "logic" and "bias" in this post, way to miss the joke. I guess you're not Destructoid readers.
I found FF to be worth more money..more hours in it for me, and I enjoy REAL rpg combat and not that action-game button-smashing. A lot of the fights in FF13 require you to think differently than just hitting "attack" the whole time. I still laugh when Square said the xbox version was going to be identical tho. fake HD ftl
Its amazing how people can judge a game when they have NEVER played it. YAKUZA 3's fighting system does take skill! You see maybe the videos you've seen were based on the normal difficulty because on hard mode, you cannot mash your way to victory. You have to make use of every dodge/counter move as your disposal. Seriously, if you've played the demo, you would've noticed the miniboss character you fight pretty much kicks your ass if you just mash buttons.
And how come everyone is a graphic whore? You can't expect killzone2/god of war 3 type of graphics in every game. Do you think every company has the same amount of resources to spend on their games? People need to go play an actual PS2 game cuz Yakuza 3 looks significantly better than a ps2 game...
Even with the cut content, Yakuza 3 has been a very enjoyable experience for me. I've logged in 19 hours in that game already and I'm only on chapter 7. In the beginning of the game, you move set is a little bare but once you learn more moves, the fighting becomes very addictive.
And how come everyone is a graphic whore? You can't expect killzone2/god of war 3 type of graphics in every game. Do you think every company has the same amount of resources to spend on their games? People need to go play an actual PS2 game cuz Yakuza 3 looks significantly better than a ps2 game...
Even with the cut content, Yakuza 3 has been a very enjoyable experience for me. I've logged in 19 hours in that game already and I'm only on chapter 7. In the beginning of the game, you move set is a little bare but once you learn more moves, the fighting becomes very addictive.
@mechayakuza: Given the accompanying rage-comments that accompany any Dtoid column with the "Jim Sterling" byline, it would be an equally safe bet that they are Dtoid readers.
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