Annotated Anime: Wizard Barristers, Ep. 10


New frontiers in law enforcement

According to this episode, the police have the power to accuse you of any ridiculous crime they can possibly think of, regardless of a complete lack of evidence, and can also search your property (without a warrant) in an attempt to produce evidence that doesn't exist and wouldn't excuse the search even if it did. We've turned a corner; no longer are the legal actions in Wizard Barristers merely inconsistent and illogical, but now they've started to discard the very notion of causality. It's kind of glorious, in a way.

"Why are you arresting me?"

"Because chocolate pie."

"Wait, what? How does that make sense?"

"You have the right to remain silent...actually, you don't. You are legally required to recite as much dialogue from the award-winning film Two Guns as you can remember off the top of your head until you say something that sounds vaguely incriminating. That will serve as your confession."

"But I never even SAW that-"

"Well then, it's the electric chair for you, movie snob!"

A million times why

Before getting into this episode, I would like you to look at the above screenshot. Over to the right, specifically, where we see -- perhaps for the first time -- that one of the familiars is a cow. A little pint-sized chibi-cow, wearing a fashionable button-down shirt. If this adorable little guy existed, why hasn't he been given any screen time until now? Furthermore, why is he not the main character? Furthermore, why can't this show just be about Norio Wakamoto as a frog and his tiny cow buddy having swashbuckling adventures together in the Old West? This show had all the tools it needed for massive success right there...

Anyway. The blond dude from Shark Knight, whom we learn is named Kiba, is trying to run from Stabler while getting Cecil up to speed on why Macal is trying to use her. Stabler and Kiba have a proper magic fight, with Stabler using his wind magic while Kiba uses what appears to be some form of telekinesis. It actually looks pretty cool; the best parts of this show is when people are fighting with their powers and you can just zone out and pretend you're watching X-Men or something (but not 2011's X-Men anime, that was awful. That was much worse than this show.)

Just when it looks like Stabler's out-magicked the opposition, all hell breaks loose because Moyo (the Paralegal Who is Also Satan) doesn't want either of these men getting their grubby mitts on Cecil. There was some discussion on a recent episode of Jtor AM about whether or not Moyo was working with Macal, and I think this scene makes it clear that she's not; if she was working with Macal, she would have had no reason to stop Stabler from taking Cecil. I think Moyo has her own agenda apart from any of the others we've seen so far; the question is if her agenda is any less evil than Macal's.

Oooh la la

This screenshot of Nana Genie's lurid fantasies has no importance to anything that happened in the episode but I had to post it because TWILIGHT STABLER

After escaping from the menfolk, Cecil and Moyo hole up in what looks like an abandoned warehouse for a heart-to-heart chat. Cecil confides in Moyo about the whole "demonic summoning brought me back to life" thing, which Moyo plays dumb about in rather adorable fashion. Laying it on a little thick there, Demon Paralegal? However, the most interesting part of the episode (and probably this season) arrives when Moyo asks Cecil what being dead was like. Presumably, as some kind of immortal hellspawn, Moyo can't die and doesn't really understand the concept of death. This may be the only time in the entire show Moyo has been 100% sincere, because I think she really does want to know.

When the smoke from the earlier fight clears, Stabler has Kiba arrested and wants to bring him up on charges of...human trafficking. Wait, what? Hilariously, Stabler's sole justification for this seems to be that Kiba was in Canada a month ago, and that means he could have been meeting with a contact in the slave trade. Ah yes, rural Ontario: known for nothing if not chattel slavery. This makes zero sense, even by Wizard Barristers standards. Moving on, he wants to search Shark Knight's offices (without a warrant) on the basis that maybe they'll find evidence for the human trafficking charge he just completely made up. Oh, and he refuses to let the Butterfly Law folks talk to Kiba in jail, even though he has an undeniable right to see his lawyer. I'm pretty sure the amount of laws Stabler's breaking at this point is approaching the triple-digit mark.

Remember how I said last week that Quinn has had it with Stabler's crap? Well, now she has SUPER had it with Stabler's crap! Bowing to his irate partner's rage, Stabler promises to tell Quinn what's going on "when this is all over," and she agrees to go along with it -- and for that, I call bullshit. Quinn may not have had that much screen time, but we know that she's a tough-as-they-come cop with lots of experience who eats metal nails for breakfast and has no patience for anything she considers foolish. I honestly do not believe she would go along with Stabler's axe-crazy and illegal plans, no matter what kind of fondness she may have for him as her partner.

Out-of-character moment or not, it ends up not mattering when Stabler opens fire on one of the Shark Knight guys in the middle of the street, and she demands to be told what's going on right then and there. Stabler uses his wind magic to blast her into a wall and knock her out, but you can tell he feels sort of bad about it. I'm pretty sure he (intentionally) didn't hurt Quinn badly enough to kill her, and that's going to end up biting him in the ass in by the end. Still, for the time being things look pretty bad for everyone's favorite WUD-hating cop.

Requiem for Quinn

"*cough* I never got to tell Ageha...that...her hair is stupid..."

While all that nastiness is going on, the folks at Butterfly Law are having a Kum-Ba-Ya party, reaffirming that they all love and treasure and each other and will work together to get Cecil through this tough time. Of course, Cecil squanders that trust immediately by secretly slinking out to meet one of the Shark Knight guys, who promises to tell her everything if she "comes alone." This is the Shark Knight guy who has creepy-ass mind control powers by the way, just in case you were wondering; now, that's the Cecil-brand of decision making we all know and love.

The two end up meeting in what looks like a closed museum, which intrigues me because I can't decide if there's supposed to be any significance to that or it's just supposed to look cool. Mind Control Steve tells Cecil that wizards are divided into two underground factions: Macal and Labone. Macal, as we've seen, hates humans and wants to get rid of them, while Labone is more live-and-let-live. Shark Knight is an organization started by Labone wizards specifically to protect Cecil. Nice try guys, but maybe you could have given Cecil some clue that you were looking out for her well-being, and not acted like mouth-breathing Dbags whenever she was in range? Because Kiba might have actually succeeded in rescuing her if she'd had any reason to trust him and didn't keep stopping him to ask for a reason to trust him.

Museum romance

"Do you usually take girls to abandoned museums?"

"My superpower is basically mental rape, so why take them anywhere?"

"Oh. I see why you're one of the good guys now."

Mind Control Steve also recaps a lot of stuff we already know, like the fact that Cecil was brought back to life once through demonic summoning. I think it's pretty clear at this point that the demon summoned was Moyo, but it's not clear how that relates to Macal's plan to summon Lucifer. It's possible Moyo's been working with Lucifer all along to manipulate the silly wizards into summoning him, or she could even be Lucifer in disguise. As he takes his leave, Mind Control Steve warns Cecil to be wary of Moyo, and I can't for the life of me figure out why he wouldn't just TELL Cecil what Moyo is. People are now officially blowing massive shit up with magic, aren't we past the subtle hints and veiled innuendo part of this whole process?

On the deranged cultist front, Daddy Stabler is none too pleased with the delay in acquiring Cecil, and lets Stabler the Younger know that it's time to get serious. Daddy Stabler also seems to be doubting his son's ability to put aside his conscience and deliver Cecil to her grisly fate, which is sensible since Stabler's done just about everything possible to show he cares for her short of getting "I *HEART* My Cecilun" tattooed on his face. More attention is paid to the Cell Phone Charm of Conscience, which we are certainly not done with yet. Despite his feelings, Stabler appears to give in to parental pressure and begins preparations to storm Butterfly Law and take Cecil by force...OR DOES HE? TO BE CONTINUED!

Also, at one point Nana Genie reveals that he is made of a stretchy substance not unlike saltwater taffy, and I thought I would be remiss if I didn't shine a light on that:

streeetch Nana Genie

Remember this choice moment later this month, when we all vote for Best Out-Of-Context-Screenshot of the Season.


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Karen Mead
Karen MeadContributor   gamer profile

Hi, I'm a former newspaper journalist who got tired of having a front row seat to the death of print. There probably could be some interesting story there about a disenchanted reporter moving on ... more + disclosures



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