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Annotated Anime: Wizard Barristers, Ep. 8

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Hell hath no fury like Cecil without Maple Syrup

You know how I've been calling Moyo "The Demon Paralegal?" Well, I think that name needs to be revised to Moyo: The Paralegal Who is Also Satan, Lord of Darkness. In addition to stopping time and sporting some pretty impressive Glowing Red Eyes of Uh-Oh, in this episode we learn that she can also teleport 9,000 miles whenever she feels like it and simultaneously incinerate two different people (who happen to be 600 or so miles apart) with glowing blue lightning.

I mean...what the literal hell? Why is Macal so obsessed with freakin' Cecil? Has the all-knowing cult somehow failed to notice that there's another lady in town rocking the powers of a vengeful God like it ain't no thang? I think maybe they're looking at the wrong prophecies.

Scary lady

"I will devour all of your souls...and also whipped cream."

This episode had the same amount of dumb stuff as last time if not more. but for some reason it didn't bother me as much; I think I'm just slowly becoming acclimated to the way these writers think...oh look! Shiny things! What?

We start out at the most popular diner south of Ottawa, where the Shark Knight guys say that they just happen to have been in the area for a law conference and ran into Cecil completely by chance. Hotaru, at least, should be suspicious of this story, but since she's exactly as stupid as the script needs her to be this week, she's not any more suspicious of them than Cecil is.

I wonder: do the writers have any idea how big North America is? Maybe it's a dick move to assume ignorance on the part of the creative team, but I wonder if this story made more sense to them because they didn't realize just how unlikely the "coincidence" the Shark guys are claiming would be under these circumstances.

Meanwhile, it's time to say goodbye to hitchhiker Kaede, Hotaru and Cecil's super-bestest friend that they've known for less than 24 hours. Nana Genie, who gets major points for being the only one smart enough to be suspicious of anything in this whole storyarc, notes that he was getting some bad vibes from Kaede. Of course the girls don't listen to him, because what would a familiar with enhanced magical senses know about anything? Dumb frog!

Mortal Kombat

MORTAL KOMBATTT!!!!!!!!!!!

Hotaru and Cecil finally arrive at Cecil's childhood home, only to be greeted with a gun by Cecil's father. Apparently, Cecil didn't tell her father that she was coming to visit, so he had no idea that she was driving from Boston to Whereverthehell Canada to see him. Um, who would do that? It's one thing to surprise someone with a visit if you happen to be nearby, but who would risk doing that kind of drive without knowing if the person you want to visit is even going to be there? Cecil's dad could have easily been out of town, making this situation twice as unfair to Hotaru as it already was.

Probably the only narrative reason for not having Cecil's father know about the visit was to give him a reason to sneak up on Hotaru with a gun-- because they have guns in North America, have you not heard? Of course, Dad drops the weapon as soon as he sees his daughter, so the whole thing was rather pointless. Meanwhile, Daddy has the exact same shade of light purple hair that Cecil does, so I guess I was wrong last time and he really is her biological father.

Meanwhile, the Butterfly Law folks are ready for a sightseeing tour of Boston, so where do you think they go? The New England Aquarium? Faneuil Hall? Harvard Square? The historic USS Constitution? Nope, they go to the beach, because Boston is known for nothing if not its beaches, right? Seriously, why did they even set this story in Boston? They use absolutely nothing that's specific to the area, and setting it somewhere further north, like Buffalo, would have made the surprise road trip to Canada a lot more plausible.

On the plus side, Chouno wears a grown man's onesie and an inner tube, and it's pretty adorable. The lack of Chouno in this show is borderline criminal.

D'awwww

Also on the plus side, Hachiya continues to demonstrate his commitments to polka dots as a lifestyle choice:

Wowwweee

I wouldn't mind seeing his Hachimitsu Bun Buns, if you catch my drift.

Diana, the blonde brain trust behind last episode's "Butterfly Low Office" sign, then invites the group to lunch and reveals her true colors by ambushing everyone. This is actually a pretty serious scene, with Hachiya using his water magic defensively to try to stave off Diana's ultra-destructive fire magic and save all of their lives, but because this is Wizard Barristers, the show down takes place at an establishment called:

FISH STORY YO

What, was "Hotel Bird Legend" already booked for the weekend? Kind of hard to take the action seriously in this venue. In any event, the Charmander vs. Squirtle battle continues for some time.

Element fight

Back in Whereverthehell Canada, Cecil makes a big deal out of going to get more maple syrup, because without maple syrup we might not know they're in Canada. Strangely, it only takes her like three minutes to get maple syrup and a bunch of other groceries, even though Cecil's house is supposedly way out in the boondocks, but I'm going to try not to think about that. During their post-maple-syrup high, Cecil and Hotaru are finally bonding, and we learn that Cecil doesn't remember anything about the incident six years ago that led to her mother's sentencing. Before we can learn anything else though, the two Barristers are attacked by a giant metaloid thing. Didn't Cecil say early in the series that metal magic was a rare type of magic among Wizards? Because lately, it seems like every WUD and their grandma can pull mecha out of the ether.

The enemy mech is doing a pretty solid job of trouncing Cecil and Hotaru, until it makes the mistake of blowing up Cecil's house; this sends Cecil into Berserk Psycho Cecil mode, and she summons her diaboloid in rage. We can tell she's really mad because the diaboloid even turns red, which probably counts as her powers developing for this week. What follows is actually a pretty cool scene of Cecil's mecha pummeling the snot out of the enemy, which is kind of reminiscent of what Evangelion would be like minus any emotional investment and/or dramatic tension.

It's revealed that the mecha pilot is Kaede, the mysterious hitchhiker. Oh noes! How can this be? Kaede has a dumb reason for attacking them, but really, the only thing that matters is that she's working with Macal to draw out Cecil's powers because everything is ALL. ABOUT. CECIL, even in Canada. At this point, Moyo The Paralegal Who is Also Satan has had enough of this bullshit and kills both Kaede and Diana (all the way back in Boston) before they can give away any choice information.

Ow that looks like it hurts

Wow, that was surprisingly disturbing. What is this now, Pupa?

Naturally, the Shark guys are watching from afar and call out "That paralegal!" when they see She Who Must Not Be Named drop in for the kill. I would say that this information will soon get back to Macal, but I'm beginning to think the Sharks are some kind of anti-Macal task force instead of cult members. They've been such assholes for the whole show that I think we're supposed to be surprised when they turn out to be "good" guys.

After all that craziness has resolved, Stabler briefs the head of Macal, who is also his father (alright I called that!) about the situation. Interestingly, he says that Diana and Kaede both "abandoned" their mission partway through; I don't know if this is a translation thing, or if he's actually lying to his father, but it seems like he's hiding the fact that the two cult members were actually killed mid-mission. Is it possible that Stabler's actually working with She Who Must Not Be Named to thwart his own father's plans? That would actually be interesting, right? It would be kind of cool to see him pull a Satsuki Kiryuin late in the game, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Daddy Stabler is concerned that Butterfly Law is now "on to" Macal. Yeah, whenever a pyromaniac attorney tries to murder me and my coworkers inside an abandoned Fish Story restaurant, that tends to make my Spider sense tingle; chances are, even the oblivious Butterfly Law people are onto Macal by this point. For her part, Hotaru contributes that whatever's going on "definitely has something to do with Cecil." Thank you, Sherlock Goddamn Holmes. Jesus Christ, where have all the smart people in this anime gone?

Quinn? Quinn, where are you? Please come back! Kamakiri? Anyone?


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Karen Mead
Karen MeadContributor   gamer profile

Hi, I'm a former newspaper journalist who got tired of having a front row seat to the death of print. There probably could be some interesting story there about a disenchanted reporter moving on ... more + disclosures


 



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