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Chest not perky enough? Never fear, beauty nips are here!

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Look, I've never had a problem with having lush, erect nipples, but I know some of you have. There's no shame in it, un-erect nipples happens to the best of us (except me!), and sometimes pinching, fondling, or putting ice on them just isn't the answer. Well I'm here to tell you about wonderful new products going by the name chop and scoop Beauty Nipple and Nipple Pheromone. For the low, low price of 398 yen, you too have plastic hard, diamond cutting nipples thanks to the breakthrough development in nipple prosthesis.

In all seriousness, while this isn't the weirdest product that's ever crossed my desk, one is left to wonder how desirable eternally erect nipples really are. Now, I've known sufferers of NNENS (never not erect nipple syndrome), and all it ever did was inspire jokes, and give everyone the excuse to unabashedly stare at her chest.

One final note, the word "nipple pheromone" appears on one of these two products, and that leads me to wonder if it isn't you know, some sort of cream. Some sort of long lasting, nipple erecting cream. Such a product, scares me to my very core.


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John Martone
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Filed under... #weird news

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