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Confessions 19: President Barack Obama

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Here at Americanator: The Yankee's Companion, we hate President Barack Obama for being a Muslim socialist alien nazi...or at least, we're supposed to. I have to admit, once I found out that he bowls about as well as I do, I started to feel a connection. Then I found out that he recently attended a Seder, meaning that all this time he hasn't been a secret Muslim; he's a secret Jew. Once I knew he was good enough to take home to my Mommy, the deal was sealed: President Barack Obama, I love you!

Hit the jump to learn more about why I love President Barack Obama.

Fight of the Century

Vader, Schmader- fall to the might of the most POWERFUL MAN IN THE FREE WORLD!!!!!

Oh, President Barack Obama, no one can pull off that slightly-constipated look quite as well as you. When you open your mouth and actually sound intelligent, I'm so confused that it's hot. The fact that you think before you speak is maddening- I'm always wondering, WHAT IS HE THINKING ABOUT???? It could be about ANYTHING. It could be about pork.

Barack Obama is the President of the United States of America- has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? If I were to marry the President of the United States of America, I would be the Queen of America. Can you imagine?

You're just minding your own business, browsing your favorite site Americanator.com, when you see a post from Karen, The Queen of America- wouldn't that be awesome? I'm pretty sure that would make me the head of this whole operation. In fact, don't get too attached to the current Americanator logo; once I'm queen, I'll put some pink sparklies and My Little Ponies on that sucker, and Brad Rice won't be able to stop me.

In fact, why stop with this little dog-and-pony website? Once I have Obama in my clutches, this joint will be small potatoes for me. I'll start KarenQueenofAmerica.com and set up shop as the true power behind the throne.

President Barack Obama, I love you; it may seem like I'm just using you for your position, but it's love. You had me at "What Washington needs is adult supervision."


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Karen Mead
Karen MeadContributor   gamer profile

Hi, I'm a former newspaper journalist who got tired of having a front row seat to the death of print. There probably could be some interesting story there about a disenchanted reporter moving on ... more + disclosures


 



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