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Happy Fourth of July from Americanator


Well, we should have seen this coming.

Americanator, Japanator's conjoined twin, separated at birth only to rear its ugly head upon April Fools' Day, has sent out an e-mail to the Jtor staff wishing us a Happy Fourth of July. They've also shared some of what they've been doing since the day they hijacked our domain.

Read on to see what they've been up to.

Dearest beloved sister Japanator,

Nigh three long, agonizing months have passed since we last spoke. This saddens me deeply. The comfort of your round-eye Japanese voices and constant bickering over shows with titles that I cannot even begin to comprehend or pronounce correctly has been on my mind for some time now. The last few months have been troublesome for us. There is, of course, the oil spill dragging our dispositions downward. Al Gore is apparently having sex with women now. No one knows what the f*ck the economy is up to. One day we're okay, the next we're in shambles. To top it all off, the entertainment industry here in the States has been horrible. The staff recently was "treated" to a screening of Tom Cruise's latest outing Knight and Day. Half of us vomited during the second act, and the other half threw their 44 oz fountain drinks at the projection box to disable the equipment. Tomorrow evening we're going to M. Night Shyamalan's new film The Last Airbender. We have no idea what it is about, but loving everything he's done, we have high hopes. 

Generally, though, media works here have been so repulsive lately that, I must confess, we have been dabbling in this strange medium you people label "anime". The majority of the shows simply baffled us within a few minutes of viewing. One of the shows was about, we think, a headless woman's quest to "get her groove back". Her fashion sense was spot-on, though. The name of the show rapes my tongue as I attempt to say it, so I won't bother with it here. Another program called Kay On, I gather, caused several staffers to spontaneously ejaculate. We are still conducting research to discover the cause of this phenomenon. There was one "anime", however, that we do approve of. So, Stan Lee makes this stuff? Why did we not know such a thing was occurring? Heroman, although it portrays America in a false light, and the main protagonist is a feeble teenage girl, at least displays the American flag proud and mighty. We, yet again, conquer invading alien scum with the strength of the can-do U.S.A. spirit. Please continue to cover this show.

Well, I guess I've been babbling on for too long now. Take care, dear sister. Try to respond to this e-mail with something other than pictures of your prized naked animated characters violating each other with tentacles or whatever the hell it was you sent us last time. Don't go crazy with the fireworks, either.

Happy Fourth, and God Bless America.

Yours Truly,

The Americanator Staff

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Mike LeChevallier
Mike LeChevallier   gamer profile



Filed under... #Americanator #Japanator #Japanator Original #top stories #wut



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