Mr. Happy gets his own Japanese festival, and we get to see lots of penis. Win-win?


Only one element of that photo was added after it was taken. Hint: it's not that dude's lipstick.

Quite seriously, yes, the first Sunday of each April, i.e. just now in Kawasaki, is time for Kanamara Matsuri. We know "matsuri" is an awesome frstival, but that first one? Ten points if you guessed "steel phallus." It's become an enormously popular event, with people from all over the world gathering in tens of thousands to observe massive dongs being paraded around on mikoshi - those shrines they carry on platforms at shoulder level - sold as various souvenirs fit to make bachelorette-partiers and college freshmen green with envy, and even more giddily "WTF??" Google-breaking formats, such as these ridable (??) models on the street.

If you ever had any ideas about the Japanese being an extremely sexually repressed society...well, look at the birth rate, and bazillions of other potential scientific arguments either way. But that's not the point here! The point is, COCKS. LOTS OF HUGE ONES. About half the 30,000 attendees this year were foreigners for that very reason.

The festival started a few hundred years back with ladies of the night praying their clients' man-sticks didn't give them syphilis, but money from all the wacky merchandise, etc., now goes to AIDS research and focuses on good thoughts for victims of that disease.

As for the name itself, the steel phallus apparently came in handy (must...not...) when a demon took up residence in a girl's, um, happy place, and chomped off two young men's things, till a blacksmith decided to feed it that which it did not want to chew upon. The idea all over the country seems to be "Yay, penis!" Ah, well, at least there's still plenty of boob to go around.

You are logged out. Login | Sign up



Aoi   gamer profile

'Ello, luvs. I be a sometime editor o' Jtor, dependent on my school and work schedule. Thanks for reading! Remember, the first one's free. more + disclosures



Filed under... #culture #weird news



You're not expected to always agree, but do please keep cool and never make it personal. Report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community team. Also, on the right side of a comment you can flag nasty comments anonymously (we ban users dishing bad karma). For everything else, contact us!