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My war with Hello Kitty is called on account of CHAINSAW

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You all laughed at me when I officially declared war on Hello Kitty- or at the very least gave me a slightly incredulous look, which is basically the same thing. Now that you've seen this abomination, do you realize the threat we're facing here? The possibility of being chainsawed to death while the vacuous face of Hello Kitty emblazons itself upon the last remnants of your consciousness before your soul (or atheistic soul-equivalent) departs this moral coil? We need a hero, a warrior, to eradicate HK in all of her forms, and save us from the very possibility of suffering such a fate. We need a dedicated Sanrio assassin.

Unfortunately, that role will not be filled by myself- as of today, I officially surrender to Hello Kitty. When all I was facing was the possibility of a being gunned down with a Hello Kitty rifle, I could deal- years of playing Metal Gear Solid have taught me that that is a fate that one may face upon the battlefield. But to be sawed in half, and have my earthly remains stained with the pink finish of the world's most cheerful chainsaw? My bravery has its limits.

I pray that someone, anyone, will take up the Badtz-Maru Gatling Gun of Liberty and FIGHT THE POWAAA, but for now, I'm out of the fight. I have blogs to write, and young children that I will totally leave behind if I get chainsawed before I give birth to them; I must survive. Long Live Hello Kitty!

[Via Topless Robot]

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Karen Mead
Karen MeadContributor   gamer profile

Hi, I'm a former newspaper journalist who got tired of having a front row seat to the death of print. There probably could be some interesting story there about a disenchanted reporter moving on ... more + disclosures


 


 



Filed under... #Hello Kitty #weird news

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