X-Men to cross-over with Twilight franchise


It is a rule, universally acknowledged, that every franchise with an ounce of supernatural activity MUST cross-over with the X-Men at some point. While Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga may incite crazy squealing fans to disrupt comic book conventions, not even Team Edward dares to leave this obligation unfulfilled.

For Marvel, the motivation was obvious. "Everyone knows that Scott Summers, a.k.a. Cyclops, has to change bitches once every few years," noted Marvel EIC Joe Busqeda. "He's been with the White Queen for a while now, so of course we were all asking ourselves; who's going to replace Emma? Is there any woman so self-involved, so insufferable, so completely devoid of any apparent charm or redeeming value, that she can fill that special place in Scott's life? Naturally, in that situation you just HAVE to go "Bella!"

Of course, things won't be so easy for Cyclops and the rest of Marvel's Merry Mutants; Edward isn't about to let his beloved emo chick go without a fight. "And everyone who's been complaining about the sparkling business should be prepared to eat their hats right now," added Busqueda. "Because you know why his skin sparkles? Because it's made of ****ing RUBY QUARTZ, that's why. Edward is like an anti-Cyclops unit. If you could take a full power optic-blast to the face like it was nothing, you'd be okay with sparkling like a fairy too. He can literally walk up to Cyclops and punch him in the dick."

When asked if everyone's favorite feral Canadian would be involved, the editor was coy. "Maybe, maybe not. But don't forget: Logan always has liked 'em on the young side...."

Expect Americanator to keep tabs on this epic marketing event, dubbed "Twilight Genome X-Tinction." While a release date is still pending, one can be sure that the volume will be shelved as far away from the Comics and Graphic Novels section as humanly possible.


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Karen Mead
Karen MeadContributor   gamer profile

Hi, I'm a former newspaper journalist who got tired of having a front row seat to the death of print. There probably could be some interesting story there about a disenchanted reporter moving on ... more + disclosures



Filed under... #Americanator



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